Listmaker? more like listbreaker!

25 things derived from fbook notes. Someone created it. Not a hard thing to do, but to me it's a success for personal reasons. I try to list out 25 things weekly. Daily would be a thumbs up. I like listing short points for a change. Instead of having to use conjunctions all ze time. In 25 points, its more accurate to tell the things u want, need, and are thinking of in a short period of time.

So here are the twenty five things i feel like listing down

1. I miss listening to Jewel

2. I promised sari ratu nasi padang in kota damansara will be either today or tomoro's dinner

3. Has got to keep praying for mummy's health

4. Can't wait for that BB javelin so I can use those cute condoms number 2 bought for me



5. I will always love INCUBUS, even when they go mainstream and annoying fans out there act like they love em, when really its just Brandon they love

6. I'm getting that buddha tattoo regardless-Sorry lord. i have a spiritual connection with buddha heads.

7. Has to crack up "The TEMPLE" book

8. Misses having meaningful conversations, suffocating laughter, and crazy tumbles

9. Just realized i have no ultimate playground/sanctuary to rant/release thoughts in

10. Needs to drive around town or away from it----ALONE

11. It's been more than 10 years since mum and dad split. Felt like it just happened.

12. as the rush comes-armin

13. Wants to travel: eat and drink whatever comes her way

14. Thinks Chris Cornells third solo album 'Scream'is a hardcore suicide-how unfortunate for such a good lookin chap

15. It's been 5 years and Stacey Kent still helps me chill out

16. Pancakes, jam, whipped cream, block of butter. my seventh heaven

17. finally tried Absinthe. where were them green fairies?

18. loves esquire magazine covers

19. Doesn't know what to get for Brenda for her bday. hmm...toughie tricky



Perhaps a beautiful whacky slap of flowers?

20. Needs to cut down on em deathstix

21. Will throw that sandwich margarita day by the poolside

22. Doesn't wanna go home after work. wants tea in a nice tea place

23. Animal of the day-DUGONG

24. Destination of the day-Cambodia :)

25. "I like" of the day:



1.orange juice 2. iced water 3. hot milo 4. guava juice 5. lemonade 6. Beer 7. poison 8.milk 9.Coca cola So cool huh? well its not super creative, but hey i like things organized and labelled. Life's neater that way. Too bad it's not mine, but someone elses. www.designspongeonline.com (check it out, if you like the concept of magnificent "here and there's")

Ok im done with this exercise. Going for a smoke, forget 20.

Rooster off to puff.pics take too long to upload. so there are only a few from ur loser blooger. ME.

To all the chinese barbie's out there

It amuses me to find that some people are so plastic, fake in and out man. Now how did you end up so alien? Shit. How could they lie about their lifestyle, face, and brands? How could they insult their parents by being absolute lying maniacs. I swear that whole hilton craze and all those blondie's have really affected Malaysian women on a whole pizza pie. Here you see chinese girls with long blonde hair, branded items, and hideous designer clothes that are a stepback of a label too old. That's sadder than dying, well to me it is. I ain't perfect shit. I just don't get it, why all these women would suffocate every inch of pain, bleach, and fakeness to be beautiful when really they LOOK beautiful with just casual jeans and a shirt. I mean i dig tank tops and short pants or jeans. I dig summer dresses. But what i dont dig is butt hugging-crack showing mini shorts with horrible cleavage disasters.

People are always aiming to be the best. But since when did the best mean imitating those American highschool films with bimboistic cheerleaders, dumb blonde stereotypes, and such? Girls here love it. And that is why i'm complaining, cuz they ain't white and no matter how much they try, ASIAN is the word.
No, blonde hair is not bad, if you look good with a shaved set or short hair, i guess you can pull off the word EDGE. But either way, it just ain't nice. Like you come home with platinum hair and your parents will be like "Holy shit, you ain't white, you chinese" Or perhaps I slide more to the conventional. Hey I dyed my hair, but I wouldn't go platinum, the most i'll go is what a dark chestnut red?
These girls are bleaching themselves overall. They are bleaching their characters, lifestyle, looks, dogs, clothes, food, and what do you get in the end? You end up looking EVEN MORE chinese girls.

So hard to find originality in women these days. You club, then you see a buncha weirdos with combat boots making their way through puddles of mud and craters. On top of that, you realize that KL isn't what it used to be like. It's not filled with the humble and honest. It's just filled with like all these people fighting for fame, fighting for the limelight. Like dude, who cares? Don't you just care about what barsonics gonna play or some shit? Or the long island tea you're gonna get boozed by? Or your friends personal issues? People have long forgotten the importance of having fun. Now its like I go to zouk to look hot and be seen and heard. WTFever mang. I am drooling tears just mentioning. Okay perhaps drooling tears inside. Man it is quite sad? There's a difference between wanting to feel hot and sexy once in a while, but heck don't just walk around parading in 'I'm still hotter, omg he's staring at me..ew he's a stalker" Dude, i heard that when i was lining up. And that dude wasn't staring at you or any of your mates. He was just being a usual dick, yknow looking at your racks, then after that scanning the entire club for more racks? Don't get all "im the shit!". Ahhh. funny shit. How can one compliment themselves on someone of which they are a stranger to's actions? Only he knows if he was staring at ya. YOu? You're full of shit. That's all i can say.
I'm in a really pissy mood man. My boiling point must have reached its point.

Fashion. Brands. Lifestyle. That's the life to live. But if you overdo it, it just means you aint living any one of the three. Doesn't matter if you have brands on u, or if you are wearing fashion, or possess the lifestyle of the rich and famous..If you overdo, u end up a FAKE. You must enjoy these three things, not flaunt em. Like when i buy a bag, its cuz i really friggin like the bag, cuz i like the outlook, the edge, the roar in it..and i think it might suit my personality. But i ain't gona compare it to the other mamasitas in terms of price, size, accessories...wahtever. You like the bag, you like the bag. Just don't thrust your shit all ova my face bitch. Then I guess me and alotta other women out there will be cool. I am so glad my parents didn't raise me up this way, didn't spoil me in any manner to lead to being made of plastic instead of muscles, tissue, and skin. I am human. I am laughing in awe to that, because it really does phew me.

The pic of my lounging night out. Enjoyable, rainy, and chuckly.

It just won't subside

It's a Monday and I bet in a few hours, rooftops, roads, and slopes will be flowing with god's tears.

I'm at home, thinking about my weekend. Waiting to visit either a neurologist or just a general prac. At first I thought it was vertigo, now i know. It's a typical Migraine. Typical as it is, it comes with a hell lot of pain and suffering. I picked my sister up from the airport yesterday and I had hot light flashes and lost my grip on reality. There are mnay types of migraines, mines due to either stress or irregular menstrual cycles and etcetera.

It's really common, but the combo's don't come common. I've been having it for a long time. It is unpredictable and it comes in a wave. you can't prepare for it, don't think you can permanently avoid it. Psychological stress is the root of the problem, it creates tension and different patterns in blood flow. What you eat is also what you get. I eat plenty of tyramine, stuff that are preserved, salted, sweetened. Those contain tyramine, at times they are good for you. But if you're prone to all these migraine issues just like I am, keep away from tyramine for a while. Just google it out, it'll list stuff that contain tyramine. bananas are in it too. I went bananas when i found out bananas belonged to tyramine .I love bananas. They taste so good with cereal. strawberries. omg. im such a fat ass craver.


gone bananas over bananas

Im bored at home. I feel weak, but i'm okay. I just hope the doc wont be a dumbass and prescribe less than okay or an overload of pills that serve no purpose to my system. I want it to work. I want results gadamit.

Saturday night, I was in Zouk. Then we adjourned to Spicy, hartamas to feast on tandoori and garlic naan. Halfway through our meal, there was an indian mob chasing a skinny indian guy. I dont know why, perhaps he stole, broke in, whatever. But he didn't deserve such extreme beating.

They bashed his head up with a fuckin brick. And they used that brick till it broke into pieces. My friend called the cops, but they turned out an hour late. By then his face was fractured and covered with dried bits of blood. It was gruesome, his hair drenched in his own red. His neck, broken and helpless. His heart? Still beating, but a faint stint of movement. It was like witnessing a tiny massacre.

I couldn't help but bring that image back home. His faint heartbeat and his bloody face and clothes just ignited this anger in me. This rage and tension that made me perspire like hell and destroyed my sleep. The fact that they were capable of such brutality, makes me angry at the useless cops for not being around in times like this. I hate Malaysian cops. When are they ever on time, when are they ever NOT in the mamaks having a beer or teh tarik. When are they ever loyal, polite, and NOT corrupt? When are they ever human beings with a heart. They are stupid and straight out from the kampung. They hit on women, look down on women, and disturb women. On top of that, they are bullies that enjoy pickin on the less fortunate. Fuck them. I wish they got bashed up instead. Because of how oblivious, lazy, and useless they were, this guy couldve been dead. They took an hour plus from that phonecall. And the incident took place in their own bloody district. Stupid no-brainers! I just can't help but think how this country is not a save place to live in, because the cops are too lazy and relaxed. Indirectly, they pretend not to know or hear these things and by letting things pass, imagine how many people's lives are endangered, or how many stood a chance to live but weren't saved.
I'm pissed off. It boils my guts knowing the situations like this. It's NOT SAFE anywhere. But i do know that no ones more stupid than a Malaysian cop.They should be bashed up, so their sorry fat asses won't have to block my way when im driving, won't have to squeeze the poor for money, won't have to bully the community with their badges of proof. They should be stripped off all apparel and be left out in the cold to shed off some pounds. fatso's.
I gotta get ready. Going to the doc. Man, my head's heavy. Filled. Full. Whilst my tummys lonely. Empty.
Updates on medications and neurologist will be updated after i get back. I want to record the length, experience of every major migraine attack i have. So far i'm quite use to it. But i need to remember what symptoms to the attacks...what i ate..what i felt..blahblah. It's just for myself to read. So don't bore your guts out.

Klarbears birthday!

Location: twenty.one
Age: 18 years
Date: 27th Febo 09
belongs to: the Djajalie Family

I'm going to go easy, cut down my typing tongue on words and go Strictly with pics. :)

Captions are a necessity.



Say jager, jager, jager bomb! woot woot.



Klaudbear and Klarbear Djajalie


The platter, left creamy.



asian wonders.


The three stooges, musketeers, naughty rascals, the three DJAJALIEs.


This is some hardcore abstract canon effect


my bubbies. my cousy wousy. and voila bellio.


the crowd gathers to smile

and im too lazy to put up pics. they will be locked up in the fbook album.

By the way, the ultimate picture of the day, that has nothing to do with my sisters 18th cake-blowing celebration. It's just a back tattoo that i really want and KNOW that i will NOOOOT get cuz of my pops. He is oblivious to the ones scattered around my body. But if i got this one, hell no..not only will he flip, he'll like mosquito bat me!


pretty ink. uggh..i want it bad man.

That's all folks.

saggy-haggy-naggy me

It's a Tuesday.
But why does it feel like a Monday?

I swear, long holidays fuck u up. Your timing, your everything. I spent my nights playing pool and going to Barsonic, not on LAPSAP day though. I am much too casual for these colorful confettis. They are like a bunch of dressed up smiley faces with orange, red, blue, rainbow wigs. U name it. Honestly, lapsap has taken KL to another level with its existence, it preaches music and fashion. People obey, people idolize.

And when people are obedient to this circle, they form this community that caters to these people who fight to be noticed and heard of. So there goes Zouk. No one wants to go to zouk main room cuz it's got all the cliche faces, the ones that praise hip hop or full trance. So zouk decides to reno their entire look and give barsonic its own space, so this community gets to breathe. Wow, i just realized this indirectly makes the best of sense. I mean imagine this, this community even has their own clubbing day. LAPSAP day. It's not a theme,it is the people who make it weekly and permanent.
Don't get me wrong, I am not mocking. I like the electro pumping through my veins and everything, but i'm too shy to wear the extremes. I'm afraid to like go all out and say "Yo, i shaved my head, but it beats all those bimbos with the typical long strings". I mean i'd rather admit "Yes, i'm a bimbo. I keep my hair the way it is, sorry if i offended u." some people are hardcore and I support them to the top with this. I just simply dont like it when people tell me that I want to stay in the safe zone and I'm afraid to go all out to take risks because I'm vain. It's not that man, it's cuz I fully am aware of my looks and I know that I'll look hideous. And the lapsap fashionistas actually look good going hardcore with bright hair or shaved or whatever. So there's the diffy. They look GOOD.

I can so imagine my sisters feasting on Nasi Padang or Sundanese food di atas lesehan! Me? I'm thinking the closest to indo nasi pad. That would be in the foodcourt of Midvalley, it imitates by a slight miss. All the ingredients such as singkong, sambal hijau, ayam pop are actually there. So yeah you bet I'm ready for it. Fck. My tums man. Rumble-grumble.

I miss my family. I want to gather in indo and eat the kampung food by the paddyfields and just breathe that awesome air. And eat all the sambal in the world. GADAMIT.

I want Club Monaco stuff. When will it go on SALE already? It's just not depreciating in price. I love the skirts, sweaters, and all the monaco stuff stuff. I just realized that I save-spend a little-save more than save-spend all-save again to spend all. That's right. I see some independent ring in me, which is good, cuz i'm liking it. If there's one thing I know, its that I ain't spoilt.

I hate men sometimes. They piss girls off. And even if you tell em, they act like they don't know. Now, who do you know would do that? Men. Makes me feel like slapping their ignorant expressions and just grilling them with "Why this and that?" questions. Why do you think girls are more prone to nagging than men are? Look at how annoying men have become these days. It's just how i feel sometimes, so let me be an old hag-nag.

Honestly, I love nagging. :) A heartful exercise.

Love, the hag-nag

duapuluhlima. sounds like some kampung witch.

ola alo.

This morning was a good one. I managed to go grocery shopping lastnight to stock up on salad ingredients and prepared a turkey sandwich for todays craving. The vinegar and french really go well together, ultimate soulmates to my taste buds.

I am going to do another 5x5 list.

1. loves marls
2. wants a dog
3. is still sad that the baby bird she saved was better off not being rescued
4. misses alaska truly-madly-deeply
5. can't smell my Jasmine scented british india aromatic organic candle
6. wants that prada bag
7. wants to bum in a trailer and stop by every city in the states to say ello love
8. missing jakarta city and abuserin
9. feed me a chicago pizza
10.wants to eat camembert cheese with biscuits, while gobbling down a hoe-g
11.is not in the mood for mushy affection
12.has been staying away from all mushrooms possible. diarrhoea fools.
13.can't imagine elya's portobello mushrooms looked like chocolate dunkin donuts (insane in the membrane)
14.feels like a film of british humor
15.wondering if jimmy choo designs shoes for the queen of England to gain that status (i think so, perhaps i should design her clothes?)
16. is thinking miu miu, chloe, and flea market style
17. actually enjoys corny pick-up lines. a failure to laugh at.
18. needs to read that fat book she doesnt have time for
19. loves her bloody monologue organizer.
20.my tummys upset and it needs to cry
21. gosh. I'm just joshing you. (was it napolean dynamite?)
22. just watched DOGFIGHT off youtube and laughed like a phony-baloney
23.was told that my salads are weirdly creative and much too flamboyant for standardized taste buds (when really, it just looked like Greek salad to me)
24.is indeed still LIKING designspongeonline
25. seriously wants to leave KL to wash dishes in europe for a week :)

why so kreji about vals?

Valentine's day. I was actually planning to get me one of those lilacs/tulips/lilies. My three favorite bloomers. They are gorgeous, neat, and they startle my eyes. They just look good in a plain jar. Like I could pluck me one of those and just admire it. Take a look.





breathtaking tulips





LILACS. pretty bloomers.





Lilies. pretty pretty.

If anyone got me one of these flowers? then I have to admit, they have scored a place in creativity. Roses are beautiful and romantic, but it gets boring to just look at it in everyone elses hands.

I think I'm going to get me a tulip or lilac..since i've always been decorating the apartment with lilies. We'll see huh...if they aren't gone for the use of hotel bathrooms or lobbies and shit like that. Hotels are starting to use the unique ones...instead of the old-fashioned roses. They are so out of season, well at least of 2009.

Val's day is the day people buy their girlfriends stuff in exchange for one great night in bed, no? Yeah like some guys tell me "If i buy her this, i'm going to get some!" And judging by the chicks these days, you bet you're going to get some.

Women of today. They look for men and expect to get paid from it through gifts, dinner, and everything. I find them really confused beings. Your parents raised you not to be a LOSER babe. They raised you to be human. So act like one and respect thy pussy. Don't just wander it off to any loaded gun.

I think i'm going to get myself a valentine gift. I am my own valentine, my bf around doesn't count. We're going to celebrate through BEERCAMP, so we have agreed to the terms of not buying shit for each other. Waste of dough and a waste of time to act like romantic fakes. I'm not saying a fancy dinner is wrong, i enjoy the luxury of classiness, but not on just one night when everyones going cuz every other persons going. Cmon that's sad. I dont want to ruffle around the crowd of couples. I just wanna chill out with my friends. ENjoy perhaps.

I think its time to start working. toods.

When the Sun don't shine properly

An organized blogger would blog everyday.
An UNorganized blogger would be called a blooger. And that is me.

Introducing Bali 2008-2009. 2 days of drenched indo rain, the other 2 with the MATAHARI. But it wasn't so much of matahari, it was like a combo of rain droplets and a soft touch of light. Sad ain't it. :(




Had a great time with the gorgeous girls skanking it up
watching them girls have fun while I drag poor dugong along.
Ibu OKA suckling pig
lobster at Jimbaran
Flamingo craze
NIKO beach
Mbargo shaking
BOUNTY's Jungle Juice
Tanah Lot temple
Monkey forest
and just purely amazing food.

I am out to EAT.

Unlock my lock will ya?

Unlock the key to my heart, no?

Many girls, including myself got their hearts unlocked in Lunch Actually's Lock & Key event.

Why was I there?
I was there because I heard about this event from Violet Lim and her PR man David while I was interviewing them for something of a different sort. And so I fell for the fun.

The basic rules: Guys get keys and girls get locks. Guys/girls must not hesitate to find the perfect match to unlock the key to her chastity belt. NOT. Perfect key to the lock more like it. And you must have a minimum of 12 matches before the night bitches at you. Simple as Jack.
There are many parties that do not match up to people's expectations. At first, when I was there, I expected the crowd to be mundane and filled with shy faces. The room proved me wrong, it was happening, crowded, and noisy like a semi-club except they got all that high from drinking just the free-flow of soda and party snacks.

There was a very subtle energy that surrounded the night, many single Chinese girls were parading with personality and bubbly affection. The guys were feeling hot and sexy enough because they were a minority.

However, I feel there's a humongous misconception on LOCK & KEY parties or anything involved with people having to pay to meet other people. These people are not desperados nor are they pathetic. They find that their life has rapidly passed by and here they remain still single and searching for not even the right one, just someone to share the laughter and tears with. A companion for the week, month, be it forever. The issue here is that they are busy working professionals that do not possess the time to pound lines on chicks, talk to friends, or have a social life. Most of them are single and successful individuals that probably have no choice but to put their schedules on hiatus and block their clients for the night just to attend this one event, just so he/she would feel wanted by a person, instead of their work.

After all the running around, I was exhausted but intrigued by the singles out there who still managed to remember more than 12 names of new friends and intermingled from one corner to the other.

I managed to get some facts right from the attendees of the event. Most of them were uncomfortable of revealing their night outs for these events to their relatives or friends because they are merely embarassed of what people think. These individuals spend more time on their desk than going out, they are confident in the office, but once they get to the real world, they have no back-bone of self-confidence or self-esteem. Which is why I think this program is good, it gives them a place of belonging, friends to reconsider, guys/girls to think about when they are busy off at work. I feel that these people do not mind paying RM60 just so that they can bring home memories of fun-filled laughter of shared jokes and conversation. That's my opinion, they aren't just in it for the soulmate search, they are in it to boost their social skills and their lifestyle.

I actually brought a friend along with me. She too is a busy working professional and after all her failed relationships, I figured she needed a breakthrough of fun and excitement. At first, she was giving me grins when we arrived. A few hours later, she was getting her grooves on this pretty good looking guy. And when I witnessed the chemistry between the two and how they they discovered they were working in the same industry, I was so proud of myself for bringing her with me. It felt really HOLLYWOOD to me and no matter how mushy it was, when cliche in movies happen in life, it's as if you're in a dream. It's true. We always say this and that's so cliche in movies, but if these cliche moments hit you, it is much more magnificent compared to your daily dull life.

Anyways I'm going to get cracking on work. Damn, i'm getting a writers block. My mind is slowing down.


toodles.

Boredom, the new fuel system.

Welcome.

This will be left short and sweet because this entry is fueled by boredom before the heading-home mark.

Today's an awesome day. Why do i say? Because my two best friends are here, they came to visit me before heading off to their respective cities.

At first, I thought asshole Jason wouldn't be able to make it after having fed him with my words of PISSED-DOM! He still didn't look like he got it. But today, when i was having my lunch break, he surprised me and that was the best surprise i've had since highschool. Honestly. It was well-planned, might've leaked out just a bit, but convincing to the bloody core.

I haven't yet scheduled our itinerary for their weekend stay. I was planning to go random but that's a waste of all that spontaneity and hoping for the fun. So you must plan a little to get things going the right way, instead of the total opposite. I do not want to have a shitty weekend with my mates. I want it to rock.

Well, well, well, it's time to rock and get the hell out of this page.

CLOSED.

In a sponging gutter

Hello there Midnight babies.

No one is free to scoop me up for a Hot Cuppa. I'd go to a hotel or something to get one, but no one is free. Even if the hot chocolates on me. It's one of those nights where you need a friend around to dig in to conversations. Where are my besties? I miss em already. Too bad none of them are around, they are in better places for crying out loud. Man, i feel like a sad Tim Burton character. Except I'm craving for sweet things.



That would be good for me now. But i'm out of it.


Anyways, did i tell you i adore designspongeonline? It's got the greatest hippie turned neat, Corporate turned funky, Reggae's little Kitchen, and Godly sense of Creativity collectible items featured on the site. The person who blogs her incredibility? I'm guessing is one of those inspiring New York artists who welcomes the joy of raw and fractured artworks. She is like God. You give her an ugly couch and she throws in like all these weird combos of color and items, and you got stuff better looking than Harvey Norman. It's like a personalized live-life creatively home decor experience. I am totally inspired and in love with the look of it.












It's brilliant because it isn't complicated. The rooms all look like it is worth living in. It tells a story of passion, personality, and character. As compared to those interior design books where the rooms look perfectly engineered and untouched, design sponge creates life by outsmarting the dull with glorious colors and puzzled pieces to get to the beauty of abstract art. Example: Like putting bananas on a table and getting away with it. Damn these beings.

My mind is now sponging.




This is me sponging.

Earlier today, I went to the curve and headed for Living Quarters. I'm looking for a natural roar in the look. I'm looking for things that will make my new couch look awesome and cozy. To make it a sanctuary I can sit down and do my reading, laughing, hot cuppa-ing at. I managed to buy these really strange looking yet alluring pillow covers. Pardon my style, but I quite like this ensemble gathered today. Man, there's a journey to go to make things pretty huh?! This Mission is a MUSTTTT for me.





I'm not that proficient when it comes to the playground of ART, but i would like to think that i am close to that level. I need to keep sponging sponging.

Okay I think it looks like I got company for my hot cuppa.

Peace.

Uncommon Slapstick

I went for a Masquerade party lastnight.

It would've been cool if everyone dressed up for the occassion but the whole invitation didn't really highlight that bit of the night.

It was fun and funny. Jay was actually. He was like poppin and lockin, grooving to the silence of smokers, laughter, and permanent stares. He was the entertainment clown of the night. But too bad he collapsed in bed before any of us headed back. My impression of Jay has 360'd, from a quiet emo boy to a hardcore masquerade clown.



The Clowns on the left. Not the right.

It was a simple night, but good the way it was. Conversations were based on rare drags, music, poisonous laughter, and killing the awkwardness between strangers in the big SMOKEY room. It was pleasant though.

Then I thought to myself that I should throw one of these Masquerade parties one day. And that the dresscode should be taken more seriously by our very own voluntary bouncers. Won't that be cooler? Well scrap that, let's move on to the frolicsome images we have here.









It's been a while for girls like us. The ones that party poop.




Sup homeslice?






The Great Fall of Mankind



Murder at the utmost degree





Jay: How are my moves? Wasn't too good ay?
Me: What? Noooo..don't be hatin'..you were amazing right there. Jay-T mang.
Jay: Thanks, i'm gonna go get the hang of it now.
(he moves into the middle and starts to get his groove on)
Me: Yeah you go Jay. (I say, without a stir of confidence)


I'm getting hungry from blogging. Takes a lot of effort man. Sometimes when I feel rajin and all, I'll type with inspiration and passion and whatever ion there is in the world to describe that hardworking feeling. But now I feel like soup in a fancy bowl.

I'll leave you to this:






The Man of our 5 hours


so long, farewell.

Bang Bang (My baby shot me down)

I'll give you a little run through on the latest things that has happened since our last episode together.

First of all, it wasn't that much. 28th marked Johnjohn AKA Dugong's Birthday. That boy had three dinners, well + 1 including the one with his parents tonight. Crazy. I only have one on the day I blow the cake, which is the day itself. He has like a few, because one isn't satisfying enough, he likes to be constantly reminded of how he's turning one year older. I get it now. The attention he needs. :)

So yeah his Birthday dinners were alright. The Cake was awesome. The Duck meat was awesome. The people? Cool too i guess, well except for one. But I will not disclose such information because I would like to keep it on a hush hush status now.

So John's Birthday event took the whole of Wednesday, Thursday (the actual day), Friday, and Saturday. Man.

On Saturday though, I had to try the All-Day Breakfast in Dome. Apparently, it is of the same price as Decanters but they are more generous with the servings. I got the Egg Hollandaise. I like it, but not enough to come back for more Egg Hollandaise action.

Nearly the whole of today was spent at the curve talking about nothing really. People passing, most especially the couples who are either color coordinated or are going for the whole "We are TWINS!" look. OH well. :D My smiley describes all the bittersweet thoughts of mine.

As the Sun lost its light to the moon, we headed down to DONGS to "KILL BILL" twice. I loved it. Tarantino, Quentin is a natural born director and killer in film making history. He mixes kung fu with pleasure. He makes Samurai swords sexy. He makes blood look like a gorgeous beauty (even when its bursting a fountain off someones neck). He's a genius, he is the GOD of film. Well, my GOD of entertainment. I just love KILL BILL VOL 1-2. Don't you? It's simple, it's easy to watch, it gives you wacky ideas, it makes you want to buy a samurai for keeps and of course not to mention, all the products/brands that sponsors Quentins cast: I'm guessing Marlboro was one of em, Lucky Charms, Fruit Loops, Puma, Onitsuka Tiger, and I'm also guessing the PUSSY WAGON was the all-American muscle truck, a FORD? I don't know but I seriously like the color of the movie and how everything sponsored fits the moments he wanted to portray. This is my second time watching VOL 1-2 again and damn, it seriously feels like my eyes have lost its virginity to these volumes.

I finally completed Paulo Coelho's 11 Minutes. I think it is worth a read and I give it a *** (3 Star) reader's value because it failed to excite me after Love struck these two love duos. The ending was unexpected because it wasn't a PC ending, it was like a Danielle Steel love novel. Might be good for some people, but it was just satisfactory, no excellent finishing touch. Just a bunch of words he tried to make up to quickly end the book. He too probably got sick of writing about thick passion and complicated romance so he just ended it on a boring note. :) I'm not ruining it for people, this is my personal opinion. But it is worth flipping through because there are lines and phrases in that book that make you go like "shit, how in the hell did he come out with something so creatively good like that?" Yeah happened many times through my 11 minutes experience. At least try to spend 11 minutes reading it, if you do not relate to it, discontinue and get a Sidney Sheldon or Danielle if it ain't romantic enough for you. hehe :D

I need a drag now. I prefer it to you. :D

Bang Bang, I shoot you down now.

Waiting for em chunks to subside.

Afternoon you little fool.

Sometimes I can't figure out how and why people have weird attitudes or ways of taking simple text messages. Like you could just say "Can't hang out today man" and immediately they'll be hating you with a "Fine, be that way!". I'm just thinking to myself, like WTF? It's stupid and the more I think of it, it makes me feel dumb for even wondering how these people feel. They should just know that no one has time to offend them through Short Message Services! ahem. Get it woman, I tend to keep things short when i'm using my phone, don't expect a long and nice email of how I can't make it for the day.

"FINE, BE THAT WAY!!!!!"

Anyways, I just gobbled some Auntie Anne chunks and now i'm doing the right thing, which is to let my stomach slowly digest what I have eaten so I can plunge in the old pool and do the laps i've been dissing for almost 2 weeks. Holidays are great, but they break your routine and they make you a temporary insomniac. I hope that in my case, it will be temporary.

I am currently reading a book entitled "Eleven Minutes" by Master Paulo Coelho. I'm sure many know him for his bestselling novel "The Alchemist" of which I haven't touched or filled my mind with just yet. I've read others like the Witch of Portobello, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept, and now 11 Minutes. I'm not done yet with the minutes, but I can tell you that it's my favorite one of them all, it is highly erotic in a religious Paulo Coelho way. The typical description of Sexual Desire and how others perceive it. It's odd, but cool really. This book is about the struggle of a brazillian prostitute and how she strives to earn more money to feed her poor family and buy a farm back home. But before she can do all that, she registers herself as one of the "objects of desire" at the Copacabana. Through the months of pleasuring her customers and earning lots of dollars, she fastens her feelings on this famous painter and falls in love once again (when she promised herself she won't love again) If any writer out there can give you a different perspective and personal view on prostitutes in general, then that means he has succeeded. I can't really tell you the entire story, because i'm not done with it yet. When it comes to Paulo, i like to take my time reading and re-reading his explanations. :)



There goes the day....

I think it is time for me to do my laps, overtire my legs, and just get some exercise done.

ByeDbye.

Lookin back to Relax and :)

Hey now, hey now,

I am finally jotting down my thoughts. Not much of it, but hey some oddness in the air today moved me. So therefore, here are my set of words. I finally inserted pictures today. Don't know why it took me years to add extra jewels into my site. I guess i wanted to go for the creepy blog look with no sense of happiness. I seem like a wannabe, now that i think of it. I had my goth days, in highschool though, used to worship the devil. NOT. I just enjoyed reading those crafty books and tried making my own potions and casted wicked spells. In a way, some of my spells worked, but i guess the timing was right. Made me go all psychological on my thoughts. Man I never thought my goth days would end...thought that Mur, Kristine, and I would beat the CHARMED sisters. haha..we'd be like the highschool goth girls that praise hip hop fashion and music. hahahaa...tacky days are the coolest. Trust me, i love tacky, it fills me with so much laughter, its crazy.



Those were the days huh. The Fairytale Prom days.

Anyways about two days ago, I went through this Javanese massage. The lady that did my "pijit" was from the land of Indonesia, except she mentioned her hometown and I do not think it exists in the map. Sounds like some master of the village just made shit up. But it sounds like one of those Jelangkung films and their destinations to "Jln. Kramat Batu". Sounds like one of those potential filming spots for b-grade horror films. But just saying this reminds me of those old school days. When we used to be tight as a gang, as friends. Used to go watch movies in PIM and throw popcorns at each other.That was Simple Fun. Simple Laughter. Those were the times when friends and enemies really counted.




My back is still hurting, could this be good or could it be bad? I've been swimming everyday to overtire my body so when my muscles ache, I know I did some work out routine. The thing is sleeping is a hard factor for me now. I can't sleep for nuts, no matter how comfy my bed is, no matter how clean my room is, no matter how early i wake up and how late i sleep. I just don't really get that tired man. I think I am slowly turning into a ROBOT. Bell-E. Introducing my friend.



I should think of something to do to make the hours shrink into un-endless tick tocks. To make it seem like my time is productive, that sweat and effort is good almost everyday. I need to be given something to do. Thats what I thought, go back to Jakarta this Wednesday, do some Marketing work for Fred, drink some bintangs, shoot some pool and wala...productive enough. Much better than staying at home.

September welcomes the obstacles

Tuesday
9/September/2008

September, the month of random break ups and obs. A few weeks ago was the release of the hungry ghosts and we were warned to stay put in our homes after 6pm. Apparently people say that it is the prime time for these beings to hang out and meet up with their homies for casual drinks. I guess it is, it's like their annual vacation time other than choking in the flames of hell or cooling off with angels in heaven.

Anyways, this is like the second week of our September and you bet a lot has happened. My neighbors got robbed and so did their neighbors. Theft here, death there, people committing suicide like no ones bloody business. It's crazy because it happens around people and after people hear the news, the obstacles naturally go their way.

A few days ago it was a pleasant Friday night, I came out of my room and there was this gloomy shadow outside at our porch. The cause of the shadow? Some middle-eastern guy taking a sneak peak through our windows. Plus, my housemate was wrapped up in a bath towel humming and spinning to her jazz tunes as she reached for the toilet door. That pervert was watching her the whole time, then it got me thinking, damn he could have been there for like a few minutes already just watching her indulge in her marvellous Friday. So, I pointed at him and it took him a while to reconsider his stay at my front porch or pack his balls and leave. Then, he left and ran to his unit. HIS UNIT! He's my neighbor, yes he is. I have a pervert neighbor. I swear if it happens again for no reason, i'm going to call the cops on him. Well, not like calling the cops on him would really make a difference.

September is just a really bad month for my circle of friends. Always be armed with your gear. Pepper sprays are useless, they just look good as key chains. Pocket a swiss army knife and I guess it will last you when danger comes around the corner. :)

Baby boy will wear GAP.

Hi.

Man oh man, it's been such a long week for me. I'm not the type to update or fill in the emptiness of an empty blog page during work hours. If i did it during work, i guess it would serve as therapy to my mind. My boss said that if you need therapy, just enter the conference room alone and as you sit down in the darkness, feast your eyes on the light coming from the water tank. How therapeutic. It's basically an ordinary aquarium with some decent lights and some decent looking fishes as well. Fishes is already a word and I'm sure now they have the term fishes in dictionaries.

Yes yes, it's been a tiring string of days for me. I elope from one place to another, drive like a freaking circus monkey, and of course manage my tummy at the same time, as its the time of the month and my cravings have gone humongous. I can eat a whole person now by just picturing freakin bak kut teh in my mind, i swear i just want to eat that shit out from the claypot.

I will soon be heading for my cousins baby shower. I think I lack knowledge of celebratory terms. Such as a BABY SHOWER. I wasn't aware that a baby shower came prior to having the baby. I always had the knowledge that it was after the bump was popped, you shower it with joy and blessings. Numsayin? I just think it makes more sense that way. Anyhoos...i got great items for the baby boy. Very typical and American, i decided to walk into GAP KIDS. I have to admit, what i bought for the boy to come was splendid. I think sooner or later when he grows to know me, he'll tell me that i was the best aunt in the world for spoiling him in fashionable ways. :D I imagine him to be a cool kid. I swear baby shopping is much cooler than shopping for yourself. It gives you the ability to buy something so small and yet make use of it. As a gift of course. But you just have the liberty to make a newborn look good. Like hey, i shot straight out in 87 and my mother made me wear the most hideous clothes, stuff with no labels or brand names. Guess the only famous one i wore was like pigeon and the KIKILALA. That friggin name is so striking, you think it's only for LALA's. But no, they cater to kids and adolescents. How misleading huh?

Anyways, I think i'm gonna hit the 1 hour sack. I'm so tired I can feel my bones weakening and my eyes slowly closing a halfway.

I will update when i feel like it and when odd situations surpass to inspire me. :)

Au revoir poyple.

The Sunday Pigging

I’ve been waiting for lazy Sundays to come.
Today’s the perfect one for pigging-in at home. Just turn on your sensual jazz, feast thy eyes on a self-improvement book and warm up the lazy couch you’ve always taken for granted.

These past few days have been hectic with friends and the other half. Time to relax and set yourself to potato-mode. Unfortunately, there’s Brenda’s birthday party to go to and it’s pouring like a beast outside. Do you go or do you prefer to savor your day with the Sunday pigging? Sunday pigging of course.
But I’m still going. Because I am not a Birthday pooper, I still have some effort. This is for all the people at home wanting to go out for absolutely no reason but to hang out. Just hang out at home, you’ve got all your goods, your music, your television set, your biscuits, and your hot tea. And not to mention, the couch you barely enjoy due to responsibilities. Enjoy it today.
I am currently absorbed in this self-improvement book entitled “Why Men Love Bitches?” It caters to the curious needs of women out there that are “too nice” and have sacrificed so much for their men. The big factor is that the men do not appreciate and do not reciprocate.

Am I too nice? Coming from an angry bitch like me with complicated feelings and messed up thoughts that can be considered delusional and over the cherry top. I guess I am too nice. But there are points in the book which help me self-judge myself. There’s always room for improvement. No one can be the ultimate bitch I tell you, even the author. What she’s writing to all of us females is just an opinion that would work. And I thank her because she got all those questions of mine answered and she did some very interesting research before anyone else did. So here’s my applause for you Ms. Sherry Argov, for doing your homework and for the effort you’ve made into making weaklings turn into tough cookies so that the oblivious men out there shall want a savory bite of us all.
There is lightning above, getting closer to my window. It scares me shitless. It has officially ruined the lazy Sunday by striking it’s fierceness in every corner and leaving us to dwell in our habitats in fear of its monstrous temper. I loathe nature when it acts like it loathes us, keeping us in fear without telling us why. Nature is oh-so-childish and unjust.

But when it’s beautiful, it’s absolute.

Go do the Sunday pigging you guys. We have come a long way from Monday, it is time to pig out because you deserve it. If there was no birthday plan blocking my pigging agenda, I would be fastened to the couch with a home-made salsa dip (stolen from Frontera of course) and digging it with nachos covered in mozzarella melt. And I would ask Larry Frontera (you’ll know about Frontera in my next entry) to deliver the best margarita in town for only me to say yum to.

Cheers, a yummy Sunday for pigs.

im up for it.

Drinkin' tea by tea. Yes i am.
It's been three nights down and i've been going to the mamaks to cure the boredom. Anything to do with "out" of johns..i'm up for it. It's not the apartment that im suffering with. At times it's him. Arguments are more or less caused by my stupid idiotic mouth and temper temper. But oh well, if i don't get out, its never going to end.
I wouldn't say i'm happy in this relationship. I'd say there are many lovey dovey moments but the missing bit is still waiting to be filled. The missing bit is understanding. I get it now. A realization hit me when i went all psycho on him just now. I was pouring out my temper and frustration over a small little thing. Therefore i apologized, although i know the same action might just repeat in a few days to come.
I have no control over my emotions. It's either i'm totally crazy or cold. It's just one of those, there is no middle line. The word neutral just doesnt work for me.
Im missing my real friends now. I've lost touch with the real me a few months ago. It feels like i'm lost and confused now, trying to mature into a different person, trying to alter and adapt to a relationship that is different from the rest. But what happens if i lose touch of all the happiness and fun? There is no room for adventure these days. I've just been moving in and sooner or later i will fill in a blank seat doing paperwork. I know its not what i want to do. I guess for the mother, you have no choice but to huh.
That month in Jakarta was different. It was cool. It's amazing how all my friends have matured. It's amazing how everyones in this powerful relationship except for me. I'm in a relationship that's still working out. It's in neither sides of the bad or good, it's not even in the middle. This relationship could kill ur time, give you eyebags and a lot of stress. It could cause insomnia too. I guess that's why im still awake at this hour dealing with it.
I don't know who i will spend my lifetime with..but currently i've been thinking about it. I know i shouldn't. But can't help it. I keep thinking about the day i walk down that aisle plus with who? Is it the man i'm now with or will there be another? Yes, there are many beautiful moments to cherish. Good memories always stay the way they are. But the relationship will never ever end up the way it once started. They say you should always treat ur partner the way you guys first started out. I say its impossible. When two people meet, their goal is to get to know each other. But once they know each other and are so sick of seeing each others bad habits and such, how the hell are they suppose to act like they dont know each other and give the respect? It's a toughy. I could never do that. Fuck my English has gone really horrible and vague. Even when i try to pronounce a word..i end up tongue tied. Even as i type this, my brains tangled.
I can't wait till my graduation day comes. My family, my best friend, the ones that mean the world to me will be there. It will feel like home. I just know it.

The guy for me would be one that pampers me even when i'm bitchy. Even when i'm screaming my lungs out and it gets scary. Some guys can't tolerate that shit. They get all scared and they think im psycho.
It is psychotic to yell and scream...but sometimes it feels so good letting out everything. The one guy that could handle it and still see the good in me will be the guy i'll be with forever. Becuz that's all i need. I need constant attention, i know i'm selfish and stubborn. But i do need the love, the hugs, the kisses. I need someone bold and strong and confident, so that he could pass me some of it. The thing is, you never know who you're dating, even if you've been dating a person for years, you still dont see certain things that outsiders see.

I dont know why i haven't been in the smiley mood these days. I've just been pmsing. I've been so bitchy to myself and to him recently. It's not so healthy. It creates a lot of tension in the bedroom. It hurts to fight daily. But i really dont know how to stop it sometimes.

I just had a meaningful death stick. hehe. And suddenly this drunk walks pass me. Its joe of course. It's funny how he could go clubbin and wake up for work. amazing actually.

It's time to sleep. I feel like taking a jog around the complex.

gnite kiss. mwah.

blanked out.

To Mr. Blank Sheet of Paper.


These days have been a rollercoaster. Filled with the ups and downs of relationships, countless amounts of thoughts and stress that pile up like freakin maggots. It's just sickening to live life this way. How do you get over such stress, how do you relief that shit? Some say the solutions lie in magazines and google. I tried all that, there was no relief..no smile...no happy thoughts. No drugs to use.

It's shit that this life is full of weird emotions that everybody has to encounter just to break even. Just to feel a similarity between familiar feelings, emotions, moves, reactions. Whatever it is, i've never felt so horrible in life before.

Here i am breaking 20 in a matter of a few days. I'm leaving 20 for the big 21. Its suppose to be my year, its suppose to be all mine. And today when i was depressed and when my heart was thumpin like a choo choo train, i couldnt do shit about it. The pathetic part was that when my friends have issues, i used to think they were pussy issues. Now i'm the pussy and they've gone a step further, they've graduated from the stress and found a way to solve their problems. I helped some of those friends and im sitting here typing to you because i can't seem to help myself.

Now im thinking how the fuck do i help myself? I think when it happens to others, you see the bigger picture. When people are stressed out they are caught up in this emotional state and it deepens through time. So you see the big picture, tell them whats going on and some see it and some don't. Right now i need someone to help me paint the big picture infront of my eyes. So i can see it, so my thoughts will not believe my short term imaginations. Because i'm a pessimist. Everything that seems clear to me is bad. So thats why i ruin relationships, thats why i ruin myself and my partner. I need time to really find my true self. Just by letting things go for a while.

You just need more time to give ur brain a rest. I was talking to a good friend of mine and he told me that i live my life through reassurance. I always assure myself, gather the closure, then only my decisions are made. I never let time take its course, i just keep being a bug to things.

My nature is to push. I just realized im such a bug. I just keep flying everywhere, whatever angles available, i freakin ram straight into it. I push and push, i have no patience of any sort. How the hell do i just relax and do that? It's so tough. I admire the people that have that quality. PATIENCE.

Patience is such a powerful word. Because it never occurred to me till just right this sec that i lack that quality, and it is just what i need. The problem starts with building the patience. Words that best describe me is impatient, compulsive, pessimistic,selfish, and a person with bad understanding. Yeah that's all i got. Probably got a lot more negative words.

I dont think i can write anymore. I need to think and see myself in a different perspective. Study my flaws perhaps.

gnite.