hearty melt

Im back, im back. For some reason, it still feels like im in kl. But i guess i'm just settling down here, i miss jakarta loads, even now i do. It feels so i duno odd. My friends are scattered around, i dont know who to call and how to. I just know that Donnas always around so thats who i hang around with mosta the time. Just came back from La Forca, pretty nice place, the pool tables aren't that smooth but it's better than lazing around at home or chillin in some cafe. I get to see Don work her public relations. haha...but its a cool place. Shit its nearly christmas, it'll be coming so soon i wont get to complete all my christmas letters to the people i cherish oh so most!
hehe. I haven't eaten nasi padang yet, imagine. I'm thinking about work, whether i'll isolate it for my friends or the other way round or time manage my time to make time more time worthy. Yesh..can i do that? I hope so. Just lessen down on clubbin. I dont know why, but i dont like embassy, i hate dugeming there, there's some still air in that place, it makes me feel sick and stuffy inside and i just dont enjoy the sight of everyone there, i dont enjoy it at all. I'd rather go to vertigo, its much better for me. Man people are getting so weird these days, they do stupid things, they act stupid, they play stupid, they talk stupid, they eat stupid, they drink stupid, i dont knwo i think the whole worlds slowly becoming dumb. Its scaring the life out of me. I've been meeting people that have lost track and that have gone whack, my criticisms may seem extreme, but i might be a loser one day. Even if losers disgust me, i can imagine myself in the same boat. Sickening but this world is unpredictable, sometimes its better to be a loser than a winner with all the pressure. But seriously, please lord, i dont want to be a loser. I seriously dont wanna be at all! :(
Blogger pal, i dont want to get drunk at all, not even on new years eve. I just dont know what i do when i'm intoxicated yknow, i guess my mind and thoughts get poisoned too and then i start acting like someones fool. I start acting like the cheapest piece of shit ever. I hate that, i wouldnt want my mother to see me like that. The lastime i got drunk was the last trip here, i've made it four months clear of not getting drunk. I just dont wanna be not myself and jump into some sorta psycho. Because i'm happy being me. :D I'm happy with the failures and mistakes i've made and through alcohol it does lessen the burden for me, but not when i drink heavily, it makes me a burden to others. I should be considerate and stop being selfish with others. I should just enjoy my baileys irish cream while i go have a nice swim. i want to go to the book store and be able to stay there for hours without getting distracted by going somewhere else. I wanna be with my hot chocolate and friends and i wanna talk about others in a good way and talk about others in the bad. i wanna spend my day wisely. I hope i will. I wanna just have a real chilled out day. I've never really had that type of memory. It's just for an hour or so, never the whole day from morning till night. never ever. I appreciate everything now, i love the situation im in now, it keeps me alive, keeps me awake and sane. When lifes too perfect, its not the perfect life, its the most imperfect of all the type of lives. I want the life that has problems to deal with, it just reminds me that there's things to take care of and responsibilities and people to love. I just have to annoy you about my perspective, might seem rather odd but i'm odd and so are you.
Tomorrows a good day. I can smell some good ass breakfast in plaza indo and some good lunch with great friends and great dinner either at home or around kemang. Or perhaps we'll watch a movie and bum around citos. Now thats the j-town life, wonderful huh. Relaxing, but yeah its too good to be true at times. Oh fuck i needa make cards. Arts, help me craft good cards for i am one horrible being, i can't make shit that involves creativity and color coordination. I suck so bad in being artistic.

Good night and the sweetest dreams?

Love all you people that give me the warmest cuddles ever, it makes my heart melt. I swear, it does.