Haha its been a long time since i've taken valium until donna distributed it to people the other day. so this is what i wrote when i came home a lil high on v and beer. it's so stupid but i dont mind postin it.
A few days ago i wrote:
"Great valium gobbled down with golden sizzling beer. I'm feeling the val, it's slowing me down, slowing me down good. I'm feeling it more as i lie down on my cozy bed. I'm cozy as fuck, its beautiful, and for the very first time in jakarta this hol, i feel relaxed and happy. But i keep all the happiness to myself as i am selfish to share it or show it off to the others. my body no longer aches it just wants to go home to bed and tuck itself under a warm cotton blanket. That's what it wants. My mind, on the other hand has a humongous urge to feast on a borobudur buffet, wanting all the sashimi there is on the platter, wanting it bad. Vision is blurry, mind is filled with vague thoughts to attend to. I am going off now, need to shut down my system, need to freshen it up for later. Goodnite and please i beg you, give me the dream i want, a hopeless aspiration that i'll try to make possible. I'll make it work. A good day, a goodnight."
For some reason it doesn't sound like me huh..but i'm stuck here in jkt..without a journal to write on, so i'm writing in my highschool homework book, it's some old school shit i had stashed underneath a buncha books. Haha i've been bored as fuck here not knowing what to do. Friends are all busy with other friends and me? i have no other friends to get busy with. I'm the perfect loner. haha ngk begitu parah tapi emang bener kok. I love jakarta to shits but without the crowd, there's no fun, even if ur in a fancy place. You have no fun friends to chillax and enjoy the place with you. Shit i really wanna go to a bookstore..i needa get books but its either i end up shopping or eating then i'll be too lazy by then. i wanna read memoirs of a geisha and i wanna read it before i watch it. But i guess that's impossible huh. I just wanna drive alone today..wanna do everything alone, so people won't like drift me off someplace else and ruin my so-called plans. i wanna do so many things, i wanna read, i wanna cook, i wanna shop, i wanna write, i wanna watch, i wanna eat, i wanna chill. I wanna drink. haha shit i have to stop drinking beer man..i always drink beer..the golden tequilla shots are over...once i sniff the shot glass of tequilla..i immediately get turned off..i get disgusted and i just can't even sip it. it tastes awful. I dont know why i used to love shootin it. So now i'm a beer person obviously, i've been drinking beer nearly everyday, its pathetic. I feel like such a fat asshole. Yknow those disgusting old men that get drunk in the afternoons? Ahh...its gross really. Wow i'm pretty talkative today...i have a talkative mind right now. it has so much to say. But i better give it some rest. anyways....i'ma bounce now. gonna watch tv. Fuck im an official couch potatoe. Seriously when i come home, there's always food served on the table, so here i am just snacking a lil..then eating a whole meal. Ahh...dont give a shit..if im fated to get fat..then im fated to get fat. Can't fight it or can i? haha shit i'll stop. bye..im hungry..gonna steal the food away from my skinny sisters. ahh no wonder they're skinny....i always seem to grab most of the food. cuuuuuu