i've been really busy with school work and work. And i can't stand people who won't stop leaving people that don't give a shit about them alone. It's truly annoying, don't they feel it? I mean imagine someone who blogs but cares about other people's blogs...and cares about how boring it is. Blogs are meant to be boring anyway....when we're bored, we write boring things. It depends on us. So i've been working part time..and it's going great so far..just that maybe i'm slowing down a bit due to school. I have tons of assignments and i have alot of poetry going on and i'm not quite the emotional kind of person that would jot down all her deep thoughts into that empty paper. that's not me. I try and i might share it with you but maybe a bit later. It feels wrong to show it. haha. So this semester i've been really busy that one of my friends asked me to stop and smell the roses. I am doing so today...i'm relaxing, chilling....thinking. I have to stop thinking about what would happen to me. Thinking is negative, it ruins you..makes you incapable, weakens you. Ok ok. So i'm gonna go play monopoly later and try to beat that bitch, joyce cuz she's been winning since forever. Anyways i wish i went back to club med, it was beautiful..the guys were yummy, the beach was windy and it felt so good tanning, the people were so friendly, you don't get that everywhere. At first it felt kind of odd cuz it didn't feel like any country, felt like heaven. like another world. Relationships? Nah i'm not settling for that anytime soon..just not now...not yet. I'm too lazy to fuck it up and i'm too lazy to fix it up...and most of all i'm too lazy to be someones girlfriend. It's tiring. But yeah life's been tiring for me...but all that tiredness will soon subside when the fire starts rolling in. Just not for today, today i need no fire..i need to relax and go plunge in the pool or something...I need to eat fruits and be healthy. Smoking? I've cut down already...it's amazing....i dont even feel like smoking that much anymore. It's good. Clubbing? not much at all. :D I just dont feel like shaking my booty on the dancefloor with gfs anymore..i dont feel like drinking so much and getting drunk anymore..i just want to chill at a lounge and sip on wine or just have a proper glass of beer. I think i'm slowing down, the energy and fun has died down. I dunt even know if its a good thing or not...but for once in my life it feels right. I'm not saying i won't do these things again..i might..but i dont have the urge to. get it? Aw..i miss my triple shits...the three people who cheer me up...they dont even have to cheer me up, they just have to call me names and i'll start laughing. I'm easy. Sometimes i feel like i do need a guy to cheer me up or be by my side....i guess i feel insecure sometimes, no matter how tough i try to act..im not tough, i'm damn weak. I guess i have a habit of hiding things...i never express enough..but so far i'm slowly letting it go. Slowly having some faith in others..slowly trusting them. Anyways i gotta go right now....gotta live the life, gotta monopolize monopoly.