Wednesday, November 29, 2006

personal frustration

So what is up with this personal shit? What is up with the daily boredom and whining? Whats up with the personal shit most of all? I seriously dont know. I've been thinking so much these days, thinking about my past, thinking about how im gonna be in the future, thinking about the life of others and the life of the ones i love truly. I love so many people, i just found that out, besides my family, all my friends that make me laugh and cheer me up, i love them. The thing is i dont care about anything else but my friends and family. I just want to do what i have to do, so i can make it up to everyone. I dont know what i'm really talking about here but i really gotta change my attitude. I have's my mindset, why is it so stubborn. Why am i so stubborn? Shit. Seriously. Yeah well when i go back to Jakarta, i'm gonna miss it even more, knowing that i'll be in the office almost almost almost every single fuckin day. I dont have all the time to chill out in every corner of the city, i'll be situated in one plc.
Christmas is just around the corner, shit...i dont want another christmas to go to waste...i didn't quite spend christmas seriously last year, i didn't have that joyful spirit. But this year, i wanna be different, i wanna drain myself in the christmas spirit, i dont mind dressing up as santa with his orang buah. haha..fuck. I dont mind all that, i just want to feel christmas just like it was back then in hte 90's. Lets all celebrate it like kids! Blah blah blah. I dont know whether i'm the type of person that gets easily frustrated at someone, but i guess i do. There's a buncha girls all dressed up and gossipping about how paris and nicoles so hot to em and who the fuck looks like paris? Shit dude...they worship paris, its so dumb. Now they're talking about guys and who's cute, fuck fuck fark...they're wearing head bands with polkadots, weird ass tights, with their out of style tops and it really makes them look like teenagers trying to grow up too fast. Not saying htat they can't club or anything, i mean they are so fuckin annoying, their fuckin attitudes and their hair and their painted faces. It's just all too much, and this is freakin starbux man..why do you wanna dress up in heels and weird ass clothing? Fuck man, why dont they just go casual, doesn't that make them look better and by fact, HOTTER?! It's not like i ahve a big problem, but they're everywhere! Here and there, saying like the exact same things, mumbling about the bitchin they gave their boys, mumbling about the boys that adore them and think they're hot. Well yknow what....they should keep it in. I wouldn't tell anyone who thinks of me as this or that...cuz in the first place..i personally dont give a shit about how i look. I mean yes i give a shit, but not as bad as they do..i dont care whether i'm ugly or unfortunate looking, so what....i'm still capable of enjoying life. I'm still enjoying life! I am enjoying life! All these little frustrations and thoughts, just make me feel so lucky to have the friends i have back in J_TOWN. Thank god i have them, thank god thank god! I love them so much. They keep me in place man.
Love all the lovers in the world. MWAH. Cu