Tuesday, October 17, 2006

get'n out

I'm in genting highlands, just went to the ride of terror..haha terror my ass. Spent 20 sumin bux on something that doesn't even have a pontianak or a ghost in it. I mean it looked scary at first...but as you walk through the jungle of ghosts and fucked up statues with their fuckd up faces, you feel that the 20 bux shouldve been spent on something else like dufan. Even that dufan cartoon freaks me out more than this stupid ass ride. fuck this shit man.
ok back to the part about why im here? I'm here bcuz i wannabe, im here bcuz the city's so boring and the haze is really affecting my lungs. Im here because i want fresh air and fresh space and fresh mushroom dishes. I'm here because it clears my lungs and my head and everything thats bothering me. It's just a new dimension to be in. Although this place is scattered with families and their noisy kids, that don't bug me, they're having the exact vacation im having and its bloody fun. What i'm doing? I'm enjoying my cig as it burns down real fast....but its good to smoke here along with the fresh air.....its as if you're smoking nicotine with fresh air. Cool huh...just makes you feel less guilty about smoking becuz u feel refreshed. I'm such a tea drinker, more than i'm a beer drinker..beer pisses my body off...makes me reject the gas...all i can have is 2 bottles or so...but it doesn't bother me...it makes me feel much better. Compared to the old days when i was carrying a beer belly, twas awful. I feel light headed, i feel happy. haha....anyways...i was just talking to a friend about marriage..and shit its scary. One of my friends think i won't get married cuz he said the boys would be too scared to propose to me. That really doesn't answer my question...it scares me. I mean of course i wanna get married, wouldn't it be sad to be unmarriable? To be so unavailable in this already boring world. I mean i want to taste the real life...but now is definitely the wrong time for all that shit. I just dont know what to think about when it comes to such things, it doesn't seem to make sense why things all have to end up this way for people, for families. Why do i have to get married yknow? There's no choice...in the end my dad will eventually set me up. One thing i've been doing recently, i've been trying to master people's personalities...trying to listen to their comebacks and such so i'll know them more. Seriously, a comeback is a possible way to tell a persons true color. You just see the color of humor and with that humor you read what reaction they want out of you. I'm sure i'm quite an easy person to read. Just that sometimes when people guess what i'm thinking about right, i get so freaked out...then i change the subject. It's scary to read people's minds becuz when you know everything, you just know everything and it creates conflicts of which leads to losing friends. I don't know how many friends of mine back stab me...but im beginning to understand why they do that becuz i myself tend to talk about some people...friends especially, friends i know so well and just when ive had too much of their medicine, i spread it elsewhere like a freakin plague. Normally due to rage, frustration, and to decrease my stress level. I can't stand it when my friends borrow something from me and then wear it infront of me as if its theirs and they don't talk about returning it...i can't see myself doing that. And please if you borrow money from someone, have the decency to pay them back..like where the hell were you brought up....didn't ur parents teach you to return what's lost and found? or what's borrowed and worn? like fuck man....people have got to learn shit like that. its beginning to make me wanna make a speech on that. I'm stressing out these days because uni is ending so soon and once it ends, it's over...there's no going back, there's no looking back, there's no longer a chance. It's like they teach you how to wear ur own diapers before you take care of other people's. it's freaking me out. That's what you call work, cleaning up shit left behind from people in a higher position. It sux. Today i just saw a huge farm....i realized that it was what i really wanted for my future, yeah i wanna live in a cozy house in the middle of a huge ass farm, waking up to cows and such..isn't that cool? The fresh air...fresh everything.. I want to buy that with my own hard earned money...with the sweat i exerted, my own money. If its not possible, i'll let you guys know after i go to work. If it's not possible, i dont give, i'll get back up. Well, i'll try not to be lazy. I've been so lazy these days, eversince i've rearranged my room..i guess i fucked up on the feng shui bit. I'm quite into feng shui, it's logical and it really does make sense.
Yeah and like i said life's just ok. Ok means there's a bunch of happy and angry moments. its only fair..if it ain't balanced and you see me smiling everyday, i must be fuckd up like someone's bitch man. haha...no...no guys...just no boy friends..yeah there's alotta flirtation goin around..but that's just out of boredom and complete non-interest in them. I swear.
I wanna make a cook out in my plc..it'll be so fun...just a small barbecue party with all the retards..isn't that cute? haha..then we can toast to our fine wines by the lake..magnificent.
Yeah well thats something that won't happen...whatever plans i plan out...it turns out a failure..normal la normal. My cousins getting married so soonn...shit man....then i'm gona have to wear a dress and look pretty for her...since she's such a perfectionist. It's gonna be such a sweet wedding.....i'm scared i'll cry for her..i've seen her grow up and she's seen me grow up as well...just that time passes so fast and now she's in her late 20's..thats so weird mon.
Anyways i gotta go now...i'm freezing my ass off bcuz its freezing haha...and what the fuck i'm hungry. I dunt understand, i've been eating so fuckin much and even if my tummy pops out..i still eat like there's no tomorrow...like there's gonna be no food tomorrow. WTF...i gotta cut down on my meals. It's really my sleeping hours messin up...and i dont wanna skip no class...faaaaarkkk i got class early tomoro morning. i gotta go dude....assignments have been killing me, stressing me out..making me wanna choke on an olive or something. But i know what i'm gonna do once sem ends...i'm gonna fuckin just sit down like a joker and drink with myjoker friends...love all the way to the top.
mwah