Thursday, May 24, 2007

starfruit tree

Hey booster,
anyways im so bored at the office, i really dont know what to do. I had breakfast alone and now i'm going to have lunch alone. There was suppose to be this beer party thing going on in the pantry, i hope its good. Definitely carlsberg..but im wishin it was a tiger.
I just realized that people online barely say hi. I'm the one who initiates the conversation,i'm the one who says hello. Is that sad? haha. Oh well maybe cuz its lifeless here rightnow, so i have nothing to do.
I'm missing murti and ishtine so bad rightnow. Wish they were here man, wish they could just make me laugh while i'm doing work. haha
It would be nice to have starfruit juice right now, that is actually my favorite fruit juice. Maybe its cuz when i grew up, my dad would really take care of our baby starfruit tree in the garden. I used to be able to look down on it, not it looks down on me. It's really beautiful, enormous too. Know what was funny, i was having an odd conversation with my dad about how me and my sisters have growned tremendously..then i thought my dad said "yeah you have alotta mangoes too" and i was like "wtf?" and my sister was like "omg, no you dodo..he meant there are alotta mangoes in the garden rightnow" andi waslike "oh shit...cuz if he meant what he'll be fuckin gross to me".
haha..anyways that was funny.
I handled my grandmas funeral pretty well, i didn't shed a tear..i dont carewhat people think, that im heartless or cold-hearted its not that. It's just that i tend to bleed tears internally more than show it. Unless there'sno space inside to cry, i guess it will overflow n thats when people see me cry. She looked peaceful, so peaceful...she didn't look like some stiff dead body in a coffin, she looked lively...intact...and it was just beautiful when i stared at her waiting for a response (knowing i'll get none). God...i miss her and i miss him, i miss them both. I hope they're enjoying their time together to make up for all the years of heartache and bitchin'. Mary and Joseph, may you rest in peace.
I gotta go now. lunch time with johnny boy.