Saturday, March 12, 2011

Let's start starting

It's been pretty long since I've written.
Somehow, by watching Travel and Living and the Asian Food Channel, I found my way to opening this blank page and typing words in it. :)

haha. It's been a while since I've seriously thought of things and put them into written perception. It's been a while since I've come out of this lazy shell of mine.
My life has been good I have to say. Mum's in town, sister's in town, life's slowly drilling in for me and I'm glad that I have time for myself to think, space out, cut down on alcohol, and just plan my life slowly by slowly-day by day. I don't have anything else to worry about right? Except not being able to live these things.

Recently, I've been a little negative with myself, I don't know why. Perhaps its my reaction to the moods of others, perhaps its my daily routine, perhaps its ROUTINE in general. And I figured, it should be changed asap.
Routines are bad, especially for people like me, once you linger in it long enough, you get trapped in these lazy clouds, then you get lost and confused. Enough of that, I can't stand being tangled. I need to detach myself from all the negative auras around me.

So fug all that, I'm tired and done with all these stupid routines. I need to think of what I want to do and what i'm willing to do about my future. Just checked potential career stuff I'm into, I will definitely give them a shot! :D

Other than career goals that are in the process of being set. I need to find ways to feel more at home or more at ease in this home of mine. My rooms under reno right now, the tukangs came in the morning and woke me up with all the hacking. So that's good, my own time to decorate and furnish my new room! Yay, so excited just thinking about it.


-cook like a chef (must try!)
-visit the museum
-throw a cook-out at Mur's place or mine
-eat in menteng area more often (there's still nasi uduk, soto, and etc to try)
-try out seribu rasa
-ride a bike, get a bike (not the fixified ones, the old-school ones secured with baskets)
-Start reading a good book again
-get into my dvd moments again, just absorb and enjoy the heavy-dialogued films
-make travelling plans (research baby!)
-start furniture hunting for new room! :p
-open up more

Ok goodnight, it's getting late. Another must do is GET SOME REST!
cheerio :D

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Resolutions to consider

So, a lot of people complained about 2010 being a bad ROAR. But for me, although there were negative incidents, it really got me somewhere in life. Taught me a lot about new people I met, friends, and it kind of widened me up mentally. And I have to say, I actually enjoyed all the trouble because I like the feeling of overcoming shitty obstacles.


-At times it failed me, at times it didn't.
-At times I cried like a bitch, but other times I laughed like one.
-I cooked a lot and managed a pretty awesome concoction with the use of tomato paste.
-I discovered the best spaghetti bolognese ever at Toscano resto in Kemang.
-A long term relationship ended and I lost probably the closest friend in my life but hopefully when time heals and mindsets change, we'll be making jokes at a nearby mamak again in future.
-The Legends Bar opened, which was a reason to chill out and converse. So there was a hell lot of bar talk this year. And those Kilkennys really got me thinking.
-I went Island hopping for the first time ever.
-I met up with my Dad
-Attended my sisters Graduation ceremony
-Went to Phuket and enjoyed riding the Honda Scoopy
-I made a XMAS card for Murti
-I managed to let new people into my life
-Christmas was great!

Thats all I can think of for now.

However, the New Year has approached and it's time to bring forth all those undone resolutions over the years and just see what's doable enough.

But whatever it is, here's my list, my resolution, my goal to accomplish and scratch out, my benefit, my life to live.

1. I haven't SKYTREXED yet. Have to!

2. Meditate more frequently

3. Cut down on alcohol

4. Get into bikram yoga/yoga in general

5. Cook more, spend time in the kitchen

6. Earn more money

7. Shed 3 kgs.

8. Travel, finish of what's left of Southeast Asia at least

9. Improve plans, get organized!

10. Learn how to make decisions wisely

11. Control my temper

12. Take that big leap of faith

13. Make mama happy :)

14. Perhaps go for SUBUD (if im back in indo) and get "opened" :)

15. Be a happier person, don't take everything so seriously sometimes

16. Pick up a new hobby-arts n craft?

17. Exercise more! :D

18. Learn to not be so FRIGID and express my feelings more openly

19. Bungee Jumping!

20. Get those rabbit toys (for the sake of believing its the rabbit year)

Yeah that's about it :p

I don't know if I'll be adding more stuff. haha.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Post-mamak updates

I've decided to update this blog of mine. No matter how inactive, out of hope, and clogged my mind is, the inspiration somehow is stirring somewhere between the goo. Perhaps it's the chicken tikka and cranberry juice I had at Legends Bar, or perhaps it was the mamak session with elya and kelly.
We were conversing about our parents and their methods or should I say ways. Kelly told me she got smacked and slapped. Elya said he got belted. I said my father did the heavy encyclopedia book tactic where every hour he would add a book on both hands, that was because my sisters and I decided to venture into a little climbing adventure on the balcony. Then I remembered the mosquito bat incident, how he used it as a tool to shock us to our senses. haha. He would shock our toes, and trust me it's quick but hell yeah it shocks! That was a lesson for climbing the balcony for the 2nd time and of course being a rascal.
But it's amazing that as time goes by, those tools slowly vanish into the background of a couch or run out of battery-then you're completely in control like an adult and no longer suffer as a kid. The process of growing up is to get whacked, learn, be rebellious, and get whacked for it till you finally get it. Somehow, we're like naughty pets I feel but that doesn't mean the naughtiness has worn off :)
I actually enjoyed that mamak discussion, which naturally led me to think of Jakarta. The land-the city-the home which raised me, taught me, fed me. How could I not want to return? But then I thought, damn KL and their mamaks, how could I ever leave after-midnight delights such as canai, chapati, hot drinks, and such? Could I leave friendships that i've moulded over the past 6 years for a place i grew up in? Then I realized, KL has become my home, I've created a lifestyle and routine for myself here. To break it, I'm thinking twice. I'm torn in between two cities, so it's seriously a war between nasi padang, road side bakso's and sate padang versus nasi lemak, chinese kopitiams, and banana leaf. hmm...well its not really about food but umm..yeah you get my drift.
If I could find a decent job here in KL, i told myself i'll stay. And If i could find an even better one in Jakarta, I told myself I'd start my life there all over again.
I'm off to bed now. It's a little late, but hey I'm still unemployed :) And all that Christmas Shopping for family, friends, and relatives-they have gotsta happen soon.

Friday, December 03, 2010

Pinch me already.

When you're a full-time bum, there's no excuse to be a bum right? Like really? When you're a bum, expectations from friends and family tend to increase tremendously.
There you go, sitting around (like a bum, may i repeat) on your couch watching some chick flick you have pretzel snacks to because chick flicks are the only movies you can watch alone and enjoy. I mean, i still have Shutter Island on my dvd rack, but i doubt i wanna depress myself alone with it. I need some buds to watch it with.
Anyways moving on.... then of course, someone calls. It's a friend you're not so close to. The next thing you know you're out the door, leaving the simple comforts of home and out to the pub with a cold glass of beer in ur hand. Yeah it's good sometimes to be out, but what if you've been out every damn day? No offense ppl, but the batteries need to charge emselves.
People say I'm a hyperactive HYPER BUNNY (no, not that way) but when it comes to being around people. Apparently, I break a lot of jokes, laugh at em hysterically, I'm noisy, I'm loud, I'm bitchy, I'm up for anything. Yeah well to be honest, it gets tiring being that way, sometimes it's a genuine thing i pull. But sometimes, it's just to break the frozen ice others are too lazy to break. Sometimes it's to heat up the circle and get rid of the awkwardness coming from all angles. Sigh.
It's true.
It's only been a bloody week since unemployment. Of course, I appreciate life more. As in I get to sleep, wake-up, walk out, eat, shower-anytime i want. But at the end of the day, you'll find a book to read, a magazine to work your brains and imaginations on, and your couch to save that tired ass of yours.

Moving on...lets talk about friends. Recently, I've come to a solid realization about certain friends I have here. Some have issues. Maybe I have issues myself, but I know what crosses my line.

1. Lets just say I call em out to have a drink at Legends Bar. They ask me who's there? I'm like people you don't know. Then they say WHO? I swear, please I would like to melt their brains. Or another scenario is they possibly know some peeps there, but they ask who else (even after you've already mentioned everyone). Holy moly this really rocks my angry pot.

2. Bel where are you, i wanna play pool? a friend questions me. I say in return, yeah i'll be playing at 10pm sharp at wine@nine. Then his reply "let me know if u wana play pool or not." I'm like wat the bullocks man, didn't I just clearly text you the time and venue of where I will be. Holy shit, certain people just don't read their messages properly. Please do next time, thank you.

3.Then there are the friends who take you for granted. The ones that usually decline your offer when it comes to outings, but you find them someplace else with their other batch of friends. In the first place, fuck your brains more and please be honest and say something like "sorry man, i can't make it tonight, gota hang with other peeps yo". Something light and frothy like that why dont you. it's utter bullshit to be that way.

4. The latecomers. You're suppose to meet em at a bar, you have already texted em the day before or even earlier during the day to remind, warn em of the exact time and venue you'll be present at. They say OK! like they're looking forward to the world. You think, this persons not gona be too late is she/he. Well, you go to the bar and you get yourself a beer, time has passed, you keep blackberrying to avoid looking too lonely or stupid waiting or you try to distract yourself with the newcastle match vs i duno who (something u dont give a hoot about) and that friend of yours is STILL NOT THERE!This friend is seriously quite ridiculous. You know it then and there. And you know it even more when people by the bar (that u aint close to) tell you that same friend of yours is always late. Because its happened countless amount of times.

5. The in-denial idiots. Okay everyone (including myself)can be in-denial sometimes. But not to the extent of blaming people right after you've committed some serious-obvious type of mistake. For example, you come late. You DO say the sorry word. But there's always a condescending after sentence like "yeah but you know, you've done that to me a thousand times". So wtf does that mean? you're sorry you're late, but because I've been late before, you have the right to commit the exact same mistake? huh? Plus I was late because my family was in town and informed you that there's a chance of me being late. Now, that is not even a fuckin excuse, that's when duty calls. My mama is more important than you, so I have to eat dinner with her and watch her finish that stout before i proceed to you. I'm lost for words right now.

I think i'm tired wriing about this, i'm just going to publish it. And now, if you will excuse me, im not tired right now. I'm looking forward to dinner.


Wednesday, August 11, 2010


I've been writing in my journal a looot-a looot.
It serves as the best venting portal ever. But you know sometimes since i have a super inactive blog, might as well fill it with whats-been-happening stuff.

Well i've been pounding my head on articles. Me no likey. Pounding it further on my journal. Just releasing all this negative flow of energy within, not good to keep it all in yknow.

So tonight i'm at home, yes thank you very much. I'm at home, bought HOT mag and Harpers Bazaar to just circulate my thoughts. Hot mags just for laughter. And fuck it's still gossip girl homies on the cover, still! I guess that's what sells huh. I'm not fond of GG. Managed the first season, then cheated on it with CALIFORNICATIOn mudderfarter. Awesome! Gotta love the fucked-up n articulate HANK MOODY! I know i do. :) Sexay.

Ok and the rest of the time i've just been at work or having a beer. Laid of the beer tho these past few days, preparing for my climb up KK. DOn't know if I should be afraid of the weather, looks real shit to me but oh well just climb the damn mountain, enjoy the scenic view, and yknow experience something diffy for a change.

I dont know why im so chirpy today. I think i'm gonna get a load of shit tomorrow, i'm so prepared for ups and downs these days it aint funny no more.
But I'm glad mur FINALLY FINALLY got a berry so I can bug the shit out of her whenever I want, whenever I can. :D Or when I see something interesting, at least i can just bbm her. Usually I text her and the package she subscribed to in the states is shitty, it can't go international. stupidos.
But anyways she's got a BB now! And and, I decided to check my post box today, got an electricity bill of woaaahhh (didnt even use that much broh) and a surprise handmade crafted card from MURTI. weee! I was so happy to see the bunny and triangles. Thanks mur, now i love triangles, were they stamped by the way? Looked really abstract and pastel, the way I like shadings and colors of life to be. Awesome fly. Effin tits! haha.

I can't wait to go back home. I've been dreaming, thinking, and smelling nasi padang! bakso! nasgor from the tukang outside ma house! dapur sunda! waduhhhh.....laper nih. aiyayay..and also the bakmi siantar. hehe. yummy juga. I just miss home. period. miss home. HOMESICK nih. Will try to return this Sept for deytas parteh. If work wasn't piling up like a pile of shitballs then i guess i would poof off in a sec. But noo! I'm gona go home soon and it's gonna be retarded! Just the way we homies roll baby! :p

And yes i have work tomorrow. I am off to tuck under my poofed up comforter and of course my ibu jane sheets. weeeee :) happy me.
nitey nite.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Hustle the boogs.

I've been talking about work a lot these past few days. Over breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper, to myself, in my dreams. Enough is enough man. I need to stop whining, I waste a few hours on that with mates.

to effs man, the load is growing on me like a fat booger.
I can take it, i know. It's whether it's worth the burden.
Oh well, such is life.

Everyday, as i wake up I can't help but think of our "highschool reunion" time in Bali. It was awesome staying in Jasons villa, it was awesome hanging with the girls, it was awesome eating in commercialized Jimbaran ( crab was off the charts too), it was awesome hulahoopin by the beach, twas awesome partying till the crackbutt of dawn, it was awesome walking around, talking about private issues, dealing with it, catching up with the girls, aih it was just plain awesome. sigh. Think i left my brain there, no wonder i can't function properly these days.

I think i'm going to indulge in a pool session. It's been a while since i've fully enjoyed myself, might as well chill out to pool. Then get goin with my article.
I'm on leave tomorrow anyways. Yeah, on a Friday too :) Had that Bangkok trip goin but things aren't cookin well so therefore i'm not going. I'm going to use this time to plan my day, pre-organize my iDrop 4 debacle overview, and of course fix my bloody toshiba lappy. Hope i can squeeze all that in. oh man. stressfooooo.

I know what i want later. A Haagen Dazs Apricot & Cream icecream on a cone. Or on a cup?
hmmm....tricky treat i tell ya.

And i just want to space out, relax me back muscles, and yeah simply chill out.

laters poops.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

pretty, but painful

Migraine with aura. Something I have to learn to live with for the rest of my life.
They say 15-20% of migraineurs get it. And i'm one of the few. If only migraine with auras were a good thing, then i'd feel special for making that cut. Believe me, i deserve a cert or at least an award after all the pain and suffering i've been through.

But it's a gruesome feeling. It ties you down and fills you with doubts. It's highly depressing when you find that your vision blurs in the middle of a meeting. It's highly depressing when you're clubbing with your girlfriends and you see a sudden burst of zigzaggy lines coming at ya. Starting from the central field of your eyes, dancing off to the sides. The aura hangs out with you for about 20-40 mins. I've had it longer, twice a day, which is not a good sight. And I have gotten alotta people angry for ditching them due to these frequent aura assholes i meet. I mean yeah it might be fuckin nice to see these lines fluctuating from one end to another but trust me its a painful experience. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

The trigger ho's

1. cigs
2. food with tyramine (chocolate, cheese and all the wonderful preserved goods)
3. alcohol
4. stress and anxiety (must seek therapy)
5. flashing lights
6. Loud noises (refrain from Rock n roll, heavy metal, etc at this hour)

I take Imigran FDT 50mg whenever the pretty aura strikes. Must gulp instantly to prevent bad migraine from storming in.

What to do?
Consult a doctor. He's got the drugs.
No matter what, this migraine aura thing has no cure. It can only be suppressed. So you gota deal with it.

Well if you want to seriously get to the root of the problem.
Keep a migraine diary to track down your migraine pattern history.
For peeps with the same aura shit as me, make sure to record:
What time aura starts?
What time aura ends?
Measure the length of time once its done.
Medication taken?
Level of pain on a scale of 1------10
Food consumed
Activies done

It's a little tiring to write all that down when you're in a state of trance, but its best to just jot the important stuff down.
But sometimes it just pays you a fuckin unexpected visit, even when you're feeling healthy and in the zone. It will come to ruin your day either way. So I guess just try to avoid over exhausting your bod for more than 2 consecutive days in a row. You're sure to get it. Yeah i know laying off all the fun seems pretty shit but it'll definitely decrease the migraine visits.