personal frustration

So what is up with this personal shit? What is up with the daily boredom and whining? Whats up with the personal shit most of all? I seriously dont know. I've been thinking so much these days, thinking about my past, thinking about how im gonna be in the future, thinking about the life of others and the life of the ones i love truly. I love so many people, i just found that out, besides my family, all my friends that make me laugh and cheer me up, i love them. The thing is i dont care about anything else but my friends and family. I just want to do what i have to do, so i can make it up to everyone. I dont know what i'm really talking about here but i really gotta change my attitude. I have to...it's my mindset, why is it so stubborn. Why am i so stubborn? Shit. Seriously. Yeah well when i go back to Jakarta, i'm gonna miss it even more, knowing that i'll be in the office almost almost almost every single fuckin day. I dont have all the time to chill out in every corner of the city, i'll be situated in one plc.
Christmas is just around the corner, shit...i dont want another christmas to go to waste...i didn't quite spend christmas seriously last year, i didn't have that joyful spirit. But this year, i wanna be different, i wanna drain myself in the christmas spirit, i dont mind dressing up as santa with his orang buah. haha..fuck. I dont mind all that, i just want to feel christmas just like it was back then in hte 90's. Lets all celebrate it like kids! Blah blah blah. I dont know whether i'm the type of person that gets easily frustrated at someone, but i guess i do. There's a buncha girls all dressed up and gossipping about how paris and nicoles so hot to em and who the fuck looks like paris? Shit dude...they worship paris, its so dumb. Now they're talking about guys and who's cute, fuck fuck fark...they're wearing head bands with polkadots, weird ass tights, with their out of style tops and it really makes them look like teenagers trying to grow up too fast. Not saying htat they can't club or anything, i mean they are so fuckin annoying, their fuckin attitudes and their hair and their painted faces. It's just all too much, and this is freakin starbux man..why do you wanna dress up in heels and weird ass clothing? Fuck man, why dont they just go casual, doesn't that make them look better and by fact, HOTTER?! It's not like i ahve a big problem, but they're everywhere! Here and there, saying like the exact same things, mumbling about the bitchin they gave their boys, mumbling about the boys that adore them and think they're hot. Well yknow what....they should keep it in. I wouldn't tell anyone who thinks of me as this or that...cuz in the first place..i personally dont give a shit about how i look. I mean yes i give a shit, but not as bad as they do..i dont care whether i'm ugly or unfortunate looking, so what....i'm still capable of enjoying life. I'm still enjoying life! I am enjoying life! All these little frustrations and thoughts, just make me feel so lucky to have the friends i have back in J_TOWN. Thank god i have them, thank god thank god! I love them so much. They keep me in place man.
Love all the lovers in the world. MWAH. Cu

recovery recovery recovery...

My days have fully recovered. We have reached the end of sem, it's over. All the hard work and assignments and exams and stupid quizzes, its all over, for now. I have one more sem to go along with an internship. This sounds scary, i'm near to the edge of reality. So freakin scary. I hope i will make it, i hope that when i'm working, i'll work hard and not just work for money. I hope i'll get a promotion, i hope i'll keep getting promoted. I hope that i'll earn good money and keep earning better. I hope i can open up whatever it is i want to open up. Most of all, i want to do this for my family. So i can buy my mother her beautiful house and my father his beautiful house. haha. I just want to prove to them that i can do this for them and to show my love and appreciation over the 19 years of their hard work and stress. All cuz of me and my sisters, this is what they have gone through and i dont mind going through the same or even worst just to get them what they want. I may sound emo but this is life, we have emotions and we do get emotional. I feel like going somewhere relaxing, now that i can finally relax without exams or assignments at the back of my mind. Its all erased, my minds empty, i dont know what to do, someones gonna tell me what to do, so i'll have something to do. Imagine if i felt like enjoying during the exam week, i'd be fucked. Now the feeling i have, it feels so much better than the last sems, it feels like i'm halfway to complete. Bloggg...i have a crush on someone. i feel that its a stupid crush, but i can't get over the fact that its a fact yknow. Someone i've never met, but he makes me feel like i'm in place, he relaxes my mind, he helps me out with my problems, he just makes me feel like stress is temporary. Ah..ya i need that, it feels like buddha is getting to me. That kind of spiritual healing. I dont know why but its a slight crush, i'll get over it, i always do, well at least most of the time. Anyways i feel so free now, i have nothing to do, i just went shopping, wow the first time in like 4 months, has been a long time. Shit..then i went and it was cool..felt weird to shop yknow cuz i haven't done that shit in a long time....i wanna go to phuket, might with chuppy, hope i have fun there if i do land there...i wanna just chill and be a lazy beach bum. Just carry myself there without the heavy thoughts of my future.
Time for pool. haha yay. I bet i suck, i haven't practiced for shit weeks...i wanna play for fun today and improve in it.
adios for now. its time for pool!

My cousins married?

Well i had a decent weekend this week, went for my cousins wedding, it was a major blast for her i know..but not for me. haha. I mean i'm so happy for her, it's just so sad to see her officially taken you get it? But im so god damn happy about that. I've never seen her shake her booty like that mon. Yeah Kristie, congrats to you, i'm such a cool cousin man..i was there...just too bad there was no stripper for the hen's night..tooo badddd.. I guess james has to strip for you now...maybe wear his thongs or some shit. haha. Thats personal. For you both, i won't budge in. haha. Gosh how i miss this cousin, i dont even know what to get her. Her style changes all the time..except after she came back from pattaya. Kristie used to dress like a plain and sophisticated chick, now she's going all out, she brought Pattaya, Thailand back and she's got that boho string fashion sense. From head to toe people, from her freakin head to toe. haha but she looks beautiful, im not sayin anything. It's just that you look good and its a major 360 from what you used to dress in. I guess you've found the life, go ahead and get a house by the beach. It's so you. haha.
My days have been rotten, rotten as fuck. I've passed the major exam for media planning, i never knew it was so tough to plan media. I just i just i duno..it's tough. But we're over with this sem, well nearly. I am left with a group presentation and one strategic ad exam. Once thats all done, i'm going to laundry my throat at laundry's. Just have fun with casual drinks and perhaps my royal Sangria. What a babe.haha i dont know why but i remember when jase used to say "Excellence" at the end of every sentence, what a dumbass mofo. I remember paint ball shooting mann..shit that mofo thought cuz he was equipeed with that freakin paintball gear and the unecessary water bottle, he could defeat me. You loser, dont underestimate a djajalie. haha we are all trained to shoot people like you. haha canda deng. What cracked me up was that i was trying to pay attention, but bang jj..he kept doing all these fancy turns and jumps, he was practically rolling all over the place. Then i shot his fat ass. oh yeah i shot ur fat ass alright. Too bad i didn't shoot more of it. Or else you'd be dead now you ho. haha. Jase..i love you no matter how gay you are and even if ur in the army now and ur gay, i'd love you no matter what. Ur my true mofo. My true (sigh)..fwen.
Dude my sisters pic with ronald mcdonalds fuckin helped me work out my tummy due to the extreme laughter, it just looks perfectly gay. It's just so funnay!!!!
ahh yawes deh...malesh to go on..cuz its kinda hard to write things on when nothing much happend. Its like i have to extend or stress on what already happend? haha.. anyways..love you people that i've always loved and will love. Too all the abangs and premans out there, you know ur sexy.
lover is poofing off to her own wonderland. Bye shit heads.

assignments you asshole!

Hey baby im doing my research again. The usual.
Man...i'm done around the 17th..why oh why? issh..i've been writing in this blog nearly every single day and my oh my..i'm so rajin.
Man i'm so afraid to step into the advertising world and do the accounts side. Like how the fuck do i handle such stuff? I'm already having trouble with my assignments and all, how do i absorb all that in the working world. I can't afford to fuck up in reality but in school, i have another chance. If i do fuck the job up, i get fired. It sux really. I just cut my hair and i look like a freakin idiot..i look like realy dumb man. Like shit!
Man i have no time to blog right now..gotta get some work done. ahh work. I wish i was in bali now or any beach nearby, so i can just stuff my toes into the sand, make a retarded sand castle and lie down like a freakin bum and not give a shit about studies and life. Just for a few hours or so i wanna be able to relax not stress out.
mwah.