Monday, December 27, 2004

Christmas is over just when my xmas spirits are born

Christmas is over, not like i had the xmas spirit. Only now i feel like sending people some xmas greetings, but i have to add the word belated to it. Oh god! hehe..lastnite was an awful night, it wasn't fun and it was just totally frustrating for me. I hate it when you have ur car and ur free, u can go anywhere, but suddenly you just don't seem to go anywhere! It always fucks up due to the big mob of people, everyone has different decisions, and all those different ideas is equivalent to one whole big confusion so in the end, you don't fuckin end up anywhere. You just end up going home cursing the night. still pissed..i'm real pissed at jason, cuz he's never around these days and i mean cmon man he'll be in the army, isolated. Yet he still wants to spend his fuckin time up in the mountains, cmon jase..i know you can hear me, i'm bitching about you, not behind ur back, cuz i do hope you'll read this shit. Anyways...terserah loe deh j, whateveryou wanna do, i recommend spending more time with us, cuz when ur with us, ur with kristine. That's the most important thing right jase? Spending time with the person you care so much for? Only now its hitting me, waking up my robotic world, i finally have feelings, i finally feel vulnerable to all these type of situations. I have many problems, but i never seem to confess to my best friends cuz it's so unlike me, so i end up spilling the beans to a stranger or perhaps just a friend i'm not close to. I love the greenday album so far,i like number 11-wake me up when september ends. Ya know what i'm so sick of? Arguing, haha finally. I always want to win everything and i'm a sucker at comebacks, my tongues not sharp enough. hehe...but yet i still wanna make my way through. I don't know if i've growned up tho, but i hope i have. The song "fuck it" is so nice to dance to, the beat and everything, but the thang is...the lyrics seem so degrading for us females. haha.."fuck you you ho, i don't want you back" ...damn i'd punch a guy if i heard him say that to me. "i'm a bitch, i'm a lover, i'm a child, i'm a mother, i'm a sinner i'm a saint, i do not feel ashamed" ..haha i loved that song entitled "BITCH". It was so perfect at that time. Damn i'm so bored at home ay, i mean its nice and cozy, yeah cuz ur safe and sound in ur own little nutshell, but sometimes you just gotta get out, can't stay in the whole day, unless you reallly really feel like it. Recently, i've been too lazy to do shit, just wake up, take a shower, go online, go back to bed, wait for someone to call, then go out, come home in themorning, and the cycle begins again. haha wanna know something Funny? like freakin funny?
I woke up this morning due to all these messages and a few disturbance calls, and as soon as i read the first message, it said like "Krys, how are you man, are you dead? i heard about the earthquake, i mean like reply asap!" I was like what da fuck, all these msgs were about the earthquake, thanks mr.earthquake, all cuza you i get all the sympathy and attention.'s like waking up to birthday greetings, except this is much more surreal. I felt like i was really dead, those messages made me believe i was half dead or something. haha me that is worth the laughter. i hate it how some of my friends in KL think Jakartas like some jungle just becuz it has so many problems and its so infamous globally, but yeah so what, it's way better than KL to me, it's like my home i guess. It's so lively and it's always alive, clubbings great cuz you got so many choices n dat drives you nuts, my friends here are the only real friends i've got, i love everything about it, the polluted air, the stinky buses, the crowded and noisy streets, the spicy food, the culture, its so jakarta. Of course i would demand a slight improvement, but i just love it here. I don't want to live here forever tho, but it would be splendid to go to a reunion here. :D HOme is home, no matter how shitty it is or can get. I think i'm out of words now, so before i bore myself..i'ma bail.

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