Sad life it is

I'm not saying my life is sad but i'm saying life does have its occassional ups and downs. Sometimes it's hard to believe that others can die before you do. Like everything you watch on television just seems so surreal, so impossible. So when you see others go before you, you think to yourself, are you this lucky? Why weren't you chosen? etcetera. I'm currently reading about the tsunami attack, disastrous really. Natural disasters such as this just makes you detest nature.
Anyways, i haven't been sleeping well these past few days, i probably have mild insomnia to start with and i just feel so restless, so lethargic. Dammit, nearly everyone's leaving. i wish they all had the same holiday span as i, 3 months bebe. 3 months spells out boredom actually, you just linger around not knowing what to do with the many weeks ahead of you. So far i haven't been doing anything supportive for my mother, i haven't been making use of myself much. Cuz i always wake up late and go out as soon as she comes back home. yeah i'm a useless daughter really, but what can i do? It's my holiday for cryin out loud, it's the only time where i can get to laze around like some couch potatoe. Holiday means FREE time, free time means lazing around, going out with friends, partying, eating anything you want and gaining weight and not caring, watching tv, just chilling, as long as it has nothing to do with paperwork, nothing to do with uni. Then thats what you call a real vacation. But i agree, 3 months is too damn long, by the time i go back to uni, i'll have to reset myself. I'm not even using much of my brain now, mebe i've never used much of it. :o What to do for new years eve ya? I'm not in the clubbing mood and i just recovered from a bad hang over due to lastnights round of champagne and beer. Ohoh im gonna have a beer belly, ew. It was funny cuz i puked right after i saw my sister puking. Anyways we both skipped dinner but chose to fill our empty stomachs with alcohol. Wise you say? I think not.
Okay i need to go now, gotta drive my mother to work and just prove myself useful. Peace out. :D And ernie if you do read this, i say hi to you and you better give me a notice about the new years eve arrangements so we can work something out. work it hard bebe. :P

Christmas is over just when my xmas spirits are born

Christmas is over, not like i had the xmas spirit. Only now i feel like sending people some xmas greetings, but i have to add the word belated to it. Oh god! hehe..lastnite was an awful night, it wasn't fun and it was just totally frustrating for me. I hate it when you have ur car and ur free, u can go anywhere, but suddenly you just don't seem to go anywhere! It always fucks up due to the big mob of people, everyone has different decisions, and all those different ideas is equivalent to one whole big confusion so in the end, you don't fuckin end up anywhere. You just end up going home cursing the night. uggh..im still pissed..i'm real pissed at jason, cuz he's never around these days and i mean cmon man he'll be in the army, isolated. Yet he still wants to spend his fuckin time up in the mountains, cmon jase..i know you can hear me, i'm bitching about you, not behind ur back, cuz i do hope you'll read this shit. Anyways...terserah loe deh j, whateveryou wanna do, i recommend spending more time with us, cuz when ur with us, ur with kristine. That's the most important thing right jase? Spending time with the person you care so much for? Only now its hitting me, waking up my robotic world, i finally have feelings, i finally feel vulnerable to all these type of situations. I have many problems, but i never seem to confess to my best friends cuz it's so unlike me, so i end up spilling the beans to a stranger or perhaps just a friend i'm not close to. I love the greenday album so far,i like number 11-wake me up when september ends. Ya know what i'm so sick of? Arguing, haha finally. I always want to win everything and i'm a sucker at comebacks, my tongues not sharp enough. hehe...but yet i still wanna make my way through. I don't know if i've growned up tho, but i hope i have. The song "fuck it" is so nice to dance to, the beat and everything, but the thang is...the lyrics seem so degrading for us females. haha.."fuck you you ho, i don't want you back" ...damn i'd punch a guy if i heard him say that to me. "i'm a bitch, i'm a lover, i'm a child, i'm a mother, i'm a sinner i'm a saint, i do not feel ashamed" ..haha i loved that song entitled "BITCH". It was so perfect at that time. Damn i'm so bored at home ay, i mean its nice and cozy, yeah cuz ur safe and sound in ur own little nutshell, but sometimes you just gotta get out, can't stay in the whole day, unless you reallly really feel like it. Recently, i've been too lazy to do shit, just wake up, take a shower, go online, go back to bed, wait for someone to call, then go out, come home in themorning, and the cycle begins again. haha wanna know something Funny? like freakin funny?
I woke up this morning due to all these messages and a few disturbance calls, and as soon as i read the first message, it said like "Krys, how are you man, are you dead? i heard about the earthquake, i mean like reply asap!" I was like what da fuck, all these msgs were about the earthquake, thanks mr.earthquake, all cuza you i get all the sympathy and attention. haha..it's like waking up to birthday greetings, except this is much more surreal. I felt like i was really dead, those messages made me believe i was half dead or something. haha fuck...to me that is worth the laughter. i hate it how some of my friends in KL think Jakartas like some jungle just becuz it has so many problems and its so infamous globally, but yeah so what, it's way better than KL to me, it's like my home i guess. It's so lively and it's always alive, clubbings great cuz you got so many choices n dat drives you nuts, my friends here are the only real friends i've got, i love everything about it, the polluted air, the stinky buses, the crowded and noisy streets, the spicy food, the culture, its so jakarta. Of course i would demand a slight improvement, but i just love it here. I don't want to live here forever tho, but it would be splendid to go to a reunion here. :D HOme is home, no matter how shitty it is or can get. I think i'm out of words now, so before i bore myself..i'ma bail.
gbye.

Boulevard of broken dreams it is

Dear Mr.blog,
I rely on you to overcome this boredom of mine. I just came bck from Manna lounge, tomoroz the rewind thang, i'm going probs. I miss hip hop, although i listen to it at home. Just that after that tsunami rave, i wanted rnb and hip hop even more. Duno why. Christmas is happening right now, but no ones awake, everyones just sleepin. At least i'm awake, at least i treasure xmas. haha not. THe dinner tin held at my plc was cool enough, not much ppl came, but it was quite fun. Abhi and i just couldn't stop laughing at that tirette syndrome chick in deuce bigalow...it was so funny how she just had these minor or major outbursts all of a sudden. SHe would say disgusting things like ballhair, nipple biter, funny shit man. I just cried out laughing! I love abs, he's so fun to laugh with. I'm gonna miss that bitch when he's off to sydney.
Life as it is is always like a constant straight line. I need to do something to myself, like give myself a bitch slap and wake up from that boredom.
Boulevard of broken dreams, great song. My sis got me the greenday album and for that i'm thankful. I'veb een in love with this song for weeks, but i dunt want to ruin it by listening to it over and over again. I'll just get tired of it. I like Billie joe armstrong, the way he carries himself off as an artist or punkrocker, imean so what if he's short and small, he's just talented and hot. Shh..i don't give a shit about what you peeps think aites. Okay..my nexxt mission is to complete time crisis 3, oh yeah, i've completed number one and two...now..technology is just challenging me with tougher shit and i know its been on for like a year, but i barely even touched that bloody son of a gun. So now i just need to complete it and hmm...i don't have a new years resolution yet, will decide on that later on.
Okay i'm gonna toodle out, love you my new blog. i'm tryin to get used to you.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
-jingle bell rocks out baby-

Tis the season to be jolly, falallalalalla

Dear Blog,
I don't recall the numerous blogs i've had, they are all dead by now. I killed them. Nah i just forgot my username and password, as simple as that. Anyways i do know that this Christmas isn't going to be as amazing as it once was when i was a kid. I used to love decorating the Christmas tree and singing the old xmas carols to my family as i bang on the piano. But as years went by, life just changed tremendouslyfor me. I don't seem to have the motivation or spirit to celebrate anything anymore. That is sad my friend. I try to exert effort, but it's just pathetic really. The spirit should come naturally, not forcefully.
Anyways i'm in Jakarta right now, i'm at home baby. i'm glad, yes but days just seem so dull and boring for me sometimes, i just prefer to stay at home watching tv and munching on home food. Home is home, just gives you that lazy holiday mood. Clubbing isn't my top priority anymore, i don't enjoy it as much as i used to when i first clubbed. 13 years of age, i remember it was my first time ever to hit the clubs, it was when i had my first puff of smoke and first sipped off the glass of hard liquor. I guess i experimented way too early, i wanted to grow up so damn fast, but now that i'm 17, i think my interest in all that dunia malam shit has decreased and none of that shit about growing up was worth it in the long run. My best friends are all here and that is the only reason why my holidays are made enjoyable. Although i don't see them every single day, but as long as i know they're 10 minutes away from me, its all good. Tomorrow i'm holding a small Christmas dinner, my best friends are all coming, which is why i'm glad. Haven't had dinner at home for so long.
hmm..i guess we're going to the mountains for New years eve, sounds a little odd. Going to a rave in puncak? hmm...i don't mind doing something different for a change. Just as long as everybodys going to be there, that's the most important thang bebe. The Tsunami rave was quite fun, i admit, although i wasn't high on drugs nor alcohol. I didn't even drink a sip of anything, but still all that hyper music attacking ur ears just makes you feel like ur not completely at ur sober state. It drunkens you, makes you dance like crazy! Plus the atmosphere is filled with e'd up human beings acting like they have been possessed by the blinking lights and all that trance. Trance just puts you into a trance, it all makes sense now. Wow..i'm a blur really.
Oh god my mum asked me to join this institute thang called "The organizer", i guess she doesn't seem to think i'm organized enough, wants me to be a more scheduled and well-organized individual. That's not me. I'm so new to all this crap really, i don't really indulge in such seriousness in life, i believe things that are unplanned will end up planned. But as you plan things, it just slowly becomes a routine, then all of a sudden you get bored from all that planning and just go unplanned. The fuck am i saying. i guess i've been taking too much biogesics, it's like drugging me bad, making me feel so drowzy and at the same time curing this heavy flu of mine. Recover fast bel, recover fast.
Oh god, i'll be starting my 3rd semester in a month plus, good heavens, it's gonna be so boring for me. I always go to classes late, but at least i hand in my assignments on time. Lecturers are a bore and they know it, they know i don't like em so i guess they choose to detest me in a way. Hopefully that doesn't affect my grades, which i think might be quite possible. They are bitches, only nice to the ones that bother to listen to their dreadful sessions. It's just so mind numbing, makes me want to go crazy as i listen to the words coming out from their dry mouths. When ur studying, everything seems to be in slow motion. Why did i end up in mass comm when what i really wanted was marine biology?! I could be experimenting with creatures and diving underwater rather than writing essays on a regular basis. Shit, it's too late. But i'll make up for that big REGRET somehow in the future, when i'm more successful in life. Ahhh...i love taking a puff of smoke outside my house cuz the weathers just perfect, the darkness falls on you while the lamp post is ur only ray of light. Makes it look like ur outdoor bedroom or something. A natural sanctuary to smell the fresh air and feel healthy, just makes it serene and calm. Know what i miss? I miss barbeque parties, it's so nice. I mean you just drink, eat, and laugh, messy as hell but who the hell cares about manners at that time? Everyone has fun anyway! :D I hate advertisements, i'm a sucker for them. Like this star world promotion about the three tenors performing in the forbidden city in beijing, imean how sweet is that? I wish i could attend! You need dough in this world man! And i got no dough and no way am i referring to my parents for money, it's just too much to ask for. Allowance is all i have and all i need actually, but greediness is just wrong for me, i have to stop being greedy and stop wanting everything in the world.
Anyways i'm off to watch smallville! I'm not a regular fan or anything, but ohwell there's nothing else my eyes can screen on so toodles! -bellybutton-
gnite!