Sunday, July 01, 2007

bumble bee.

Hey there blogster pants.

Yeah i spent two days in was hectic. But i had fun with don and muri. Anyways i asked Don about Putra, apparently she loves him but she's not in love with him. Yknow what? That term is awesome, i completely agree with it. That's probably how i feel for John, and all along, i was just confused whether i was in love because i'm most definitely not in love with him. I just love him for the things he's done, the things he does, the affection he gives me, the hot milo he bothers to make. All these things, i love him for. Its more of an external thing, as in i love him for the things he has done for me, but i do not love him deeply for who he is. I'm not in love yet, i'm not so sure if i will or not. So thank god i was talking to Don about this, if not, i'd be doomed to explain myself to him.
John and i are going great, i was gone for two days, but i kept thinking about him, which was odd..because normally when i'm with family, everything else fades. He didn't. I kept wondering what his itinerary was over the weekends with the dudes..i just sat on my couch and pondered on whether or not he could be the right one. Klaudius thinks i should marry him, and yknow what..when i think about marriage with John, it's not so bad, but it doesn't feel right yet. Yeah really doesn't quite feel right. And it's still a big leap. I mean c'mon lets be realistic, i'm really young, i haven't really gotten a chance to be successful yet, i ain't gonna let marriage get in the way. People who wanna marry fast are just desperate fucks. I mean please...i need to stabilize myself financially. I need to own my own property, i need all these things before i get going to marriage.
Yeah...i dont know..but lastnight was a beautiful night, although i didn't get enough sleep, those hours talking and stuff were entertaining. I liked it a lot. Just felt like he's someone i could rely on when i'm hurt or feeling blue. He's my lover and my confidant. I just realized all this. Fuckin amazing huh.
Like for once, it feels right, it feels genuine..this stir of emotions between us. It just feels so right more of those awkwardness. No more.
It's just me, him, and a great conversation and plenty of lovin'.
Okay, transformers was awesome..seriously it was so fuckin awesome, i dont know how to explain it.but the robots were awesome! I liked optimus prime and bumble bee. Dude it was just wow..magnificent. Entertaining. Cool.

No comments: