Tuesday, December 19, 2006

safe zone is it?

I am absolutely frustrated and agitated right now. Confused about my life, like where the fucks it going and where the fuck is the effort and sweat running? Is it running away from me, do i deserve some goody treats? Do i deserve anything at all? Or do i deserve shit. You see i hate this time of my life because i wanna be happy when christmas hits and this is the month of december but i dont see myself in the spirit of christmas, i dont see myself being santa. I dont see myself anywhere in particular. I just realized that all i do is help other people,i never stop to care about myself and my needs. The thing is im not used to it i can't. I hate it when people dont appreciate things, i hate it when people want to just make enemies with you. Whats the fuckn point in the end? I just hate people. I hate myself for now. I really do. Right now i feel like crap, i just go online and everyones just shooting me with comments and the need for advices of which i give and they dont use. I guess all my help was not a thought that counted to them. Im just in the mood to bitch around so please let me and get it that im not always like this. I just hate the fact that im so selfish at times and i can't let go of my pride, i hate pride in others as well, how they can just ignore you like that even when you're friends? I hate the fact that certain people care about who says hi to them online first, its so fuckin dumb. I hate how people can't let go, i just dont like the way it is, people keep twisting and turning. It prolongs it and it becomes like an endless waste of time. It's a waste of time. I can't keep caring for people that are so selfish with themselves, becuz all they care about is themselves. They are self-centered pieces of shit, they have too much pride and it makes me sick. Oh and one thing i hate, i hate it when people are worried about what others might judge them to be. I mean what the fuck, you are you, so be you, what else or who else can you be. I dont care if you're ugly or dumb, act it, dont act like ur smart when ur dumb becuz that will make you look dumber. I mean whatever you are, you know it best, so just be it becuz you are it. Ok whatever.
And to all the bloody bitches out there that think they're so hot and popular or whatever shit, fuck you guys man! I mean what the fuck, dont go around wiggling your funny looking thick powdered faces like ur some kind of heroine. You're not, you're an idiot becuz you just want to be hot and pretty and thats about it really? Why can't you have more substance like wanting to be smart for instance? Ain't that betteR? THe thing is girls these days misunderstand the word respect, they think respect comes from popularity and looks, when really respect comes from your good deeds and title in life. What you have done for others, what you have accomplished besides being Ms. whatever. I just hate these pretty girls that are pretty and are actually smart but just dumb when it comes to the social world. They wanna be the it item, they wanna be this and that. Uggh they make me feel like puking i swear. Every single thing that happens to them, they have to BBC it to me. Everytime a guy thinks they are hot, they gotta tell me as if it were the most matter of fact issue ever. It's just f-annoying. I can't handle it. It's blowing my nerves to insanity. Its draining my good moods. I get affected by other people, seriously. It adds pressure, it bugs me. Shit my maids awake, that shows im such an early sleeper. Yeah that just really reminds me about my late hours. ahem. i gotta stop.
And you fuckers out there, dont think you can mess with any one of my friends just becuz you're a piece of hot ass. So what if you're nice to look at, you're a pussy deep down and you know that. You're an asshole deep down and you're gonna be losers in the future. I dont care if your rich daddies support you throughout your entire life, that just shows ur bloody useless. Ur not even hooked into studying, what will you be hooked up with in the future? Uselessness? Yeah..thought so. So dont go around shoving ur money infront of our faces, cuz we dont care...its just money that does not belong to you anyway. So what if you break up with the girls first, it doesnt make you cooler. I just hate fools these days, they're so dumb, they are disrespectful, they think they can get girls with money (their parents' money cmon), they think so highly of themselves, i just wanna tell em to fck off. My friends have been hurt and i've seen it, those bloody idiots are not men, they are rodents. They are filthy pieces of shits..and yknow what in this world there are no proper guys, its just full of bullshit. Relationships were born to end, either way it will end. I can't stand all the girls that wanna slit their wrists and die just bcuz their lovers left them, so what, they just left. They should be thankful they're alive, instead they pull the trigger, slice themselves up, or just jump down the building. I can't believe it. Life is way too short already, why make it shorter? I hate this. More and more people are into this kind of suicide ritual, its like the fastest way to overcome ur problems is to DIE. Bloody shit heads. Ihhh i dont know why im so carried away with this entry. I guess im just in the mood to blabber out bits and bits after getting annoyed at myself and other people that were chatting with me.
oh damn there's just so many types of people out there that were meant to annoy you, meant to get on your nerves and tickle it excessively. Meant to drive you crazy enough to make crazy comments and complaints of how idiotic they are. Its so dumb.
i wanna leave. gnite. I want a good sleep. byye

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