Monday, April 17, 2006

embrace me, surround me, as the rush comes

I've been listening to deeeeep house music now...the ones that calm you down and make you relax. Something like telepop music. Makes me feel better, also another type of motivation for me. Anyways, i woke up early again, and now it's just 9:30am and i have no idea what to do. Should i go out and shop for groceries or should i just bum around at home and watch desperate housewives? what say you? I say i should go out, but where to? I'm all alone, there's no one to talk to, walking out alone anywhere would be awkward, unless i go to a bookstore and hv a hot chocolate. yes i should. :D oh god, i need my best friends, where are they when i need them? i feel like such a loner here at home, my mums at work and my sisters are schooling. So i guess i shouldn't wake up so early all the time huh? Just recently, i can't stand the fact of lazing around at home, i just gotta get out even if i didn't get enough sleep. But what am i still doin at home? Ahh nanti aja deh abis mandi then i'll ciao. Shit its my mid sem break now, sooner or later...exams will come in and thats when i'll start to get bitchy. I can't wait till bali, can't wait. i just wanna relax far faraway in seminyak or ubud or jimbaran, one of those cozy resorts and just relaxxx. I'm kind of sick of kuta kuta kuta, its too busy, not what i need at the momenttttt. Yes a vacation after i go through mid term and final exams. Ahhh...i just hate projects, they drive mmeeee crazzzzyyyyyy! But yeah in the end, i'm stupid enough to do it.
As for my love life, im not involved with anyone sama sekali. More like i dont want to, if possible i want to get over guys right now. Anyone i used to like, i wanna get over. I just get confused these days, i'm too tired to be in another relationship for now.....when i like someone now..i wanna like them seriously and i want to be able to be a good girlfriend. Cuz if i keep fuckin it up, i duno it just really sucks. Right now i dont know how to feel or what to feel, i just know its not the right time to settle, i just wanna be single right now. So i can enjoy nights with my gfs, so i can focus more on my life instead of having to argue and explain in order to be trusted. Relationships, ahhh...theyre a killer really. I watch all my friends cry infront of me cuz their bfs treat em like shit and i was thinking to myself, why the fuck are they still with their bfs? They're such asswipes, i mean seriously i would just dump em right away. And fuck i wouldn't cry for a guy unless its worth it, don't they fuckin get the word "pride"? I mean ya too much of it is not so good, but you gotta have a lil at least. Stupid girlfriends i have. I feel that we're fated to meet because shit..i'm always dealing with their probs til i forget about my own. Im taking my break away from all the babysitting. Anyways...i almost forgot, i have assignments to do, so im gonna go right about now.
Miss you love
cocktail belly :D

1 comment:

kinkstress* said...

if you come here we can be cold together and warm up with a hot chocolaaate :D