my lovely number

Okay my new number is not that beautiful but at least it's the easiest one to memorize among the rest. Well i hope this number brings me alotta luck for the year 2005. I"m currently in the warnet now,w aiting for my friends to arrive and i duno i love being alone, meaning being single at the moment. Murti, murti, murti, haha that slut, i'm sort of proud of her actually. :D Don't get all "apa sih?". Well i'm back in kl now, no more jakarta, the next destination will be bali. I hope i get black yo, don't wanna get my hopes too high up for that. Murti has a crush on someone, haha....somehow its funny to me! But like the big mouth i am, i'm gonna act the opposite of it now, i know when to keep secrets, i realized i was a blabber mouth, but at least i didn't bocor the truth about ahem yknow mur? please be proud of me. huwahuwa. Man i miss these guys, Abs+mur+tini, i love em to death and i feel like teasing people. I feel so empty without em. Sometimes when you go to college/uni you think you can find the right guy or the right friends, but that's not true for me, ihaven't found the right guy nor the right friends. My only perfect friends come from the old highschool days, the ones that have seen me change and hte ones that have influenced this change. i love em bitches.
Can't wait to see em.
Well i end this blog with one meaningful kiss, mwah!
when i gotta go, i just gotta go yo.

just chillin.....

GOod morning mr. blog
Today i have no idea about my plans, but i feel like chillin at home for the rest of the day before i berangkat ke soekarno hatta. hehe. Jase and i mite meet up at the airport and check in together, its better than checking in alone i say. ANyways lastnight we had a good talk, about life and friendship, such as our close friends adn waht we would do to protect em. And what he said about mur was really schweeet. Like he would bash anyone up who fucks around with her and he had this serious face put on so i figured wow..it's the first time jase is actually serious about something. He did give me some words of wisdom lastnight and i was damn surprised yo. But i forgot what he said. After taht whole discussion, he went back to being a horny bwastad, asking me all these quessies about sex and how he could turn girls on and shit like that, ihhh..and oh wait..he kept on saying "IM A GIVER, NOT A TAKER!" ...waduh. Oh i just wished someone could just go on and fuck him to keep him quiet. iish. I'd never fuck him, so i'll find someone to fuck him.
Fuck dude, i dont' wanna go today, but i have to mon.
well i'm off, that's the most i can leave you guys with, my day has just started dudes.
love, cheppi

home schweet home

yo blog,
sup man, i'm not really in the mood to chat now, just feel like writing to you. I'm in jkt now, been spending most of my time with dumbass jase. I miss my home, it's only been like 2 months ago since i was last here but still you do go thru those homesick days when ur away. Well i smoked up lastnight, the first time in a month plus and ahhh...it felt so good. Of course i got hungry after that, i hogged the packet of chips the whole night. And of course martabak was involved, it has always been the after-snack of the green green grass.
And fuck i lost my freakin handphone, thank god its the cheap nokia cuz if it was the samsung, my mum would definitely kill me. The thing that bugs me the most is my simcard, fuck man! This is the most important number i've had so far, awww..i think i'm gonna report to the celcom plc and get the same number again.
Anyways i went to red chamber a few days back and it was pretty fun, we ended up having this kissing party. Where we would just spread around and kiss everybody. I duno i used to think girls were better kissers than guys, but i think guys are definitely better. It was funny how the guys started kissing each other, it was kinda yucky..but after a while it would turn out quite sexy. Damn..but that was a good night to remember.
Shit i've been gaining weight! That's all i can do in jkt really, eat good food, good food at home and good food outside of home. I wanna lose at least 4 kg. Well...hmmm..i'll be watching a tennis match!
well peach out yo peach out..hehehe..peach..wtf.
write lataz..

reality actually exists...

I don't mean to be carrie bradshaw from sex and the city but after having watched the series, i did learn quite a few things from it. I can't believe i'm really living in reality, i mean can you? Sometimes ur so unsure whether you're still alive you try to cut urself and see whether blood really flows out of ur skin. Sometimes im not quite sure whether i'd wake up the next morning, so now i'll try not to think of it. Hmm...i'm lonely, yes i admit but i do enjoy the loneliness, but there are times when you do need friends to talk to and i think my house mates are pretty much the right people to do that with. They completely understand me, my love and sex life, well they live with me, i'm sure they know me well enough. I met my housemates friend just now, forgot her name but she seems quite depressed, her boyfriend of 4 years got her pregnant twice and yet didn't mind covering the expenses for her abortion, twice that is. How terrible is that? He abused her to, when you come to think of it, if you knew somebody that long, how could somebody so close to you hurt you that way? I guess this is why i don't really trust guys, i never did actually, i just tried to convince myself to understand em and that all guys aren't meant to be like that. My best friend mur thinks i'm scared of all this commitment and relationships because of my parents. I'm starting to think that that is partially the answer. My parents are separated, my father cheated on my mother, as simple as that. My father? Yes he's an asshole but i guess he can't change, he'll never change. He's a good father, but he will never be a good husband. My mother? She's happy with another man and i'm glad for her, really i am.
Oh god i miss 9th grade, i wish i could watch a video of everything that happened, all the moments we spent together, that was my favorite class of all.
I just drank some white wine, again! hehe..but it's finished now, the bottle's so beautiful i wanna plant something in it and place it in my balcony. it'll look so pretty. I love this apartment of mine, it's so cozy, doesn't feel like Malaysia, feels like somewhere else. One day i'd love to buy this whole unit, i'll earn the money for it, i don't mind at all. It'll kill for me to leave this place, it has everything, a balcony and a tinsee winsee bit of the lake view with lights produced by the putrajaya bridge. It's awesome.
I'm really regular when it comes to you blog, i guess ur nice to talk to whenever boredom swings by. I have class tomoro, shit at 10 am, these days its pretty tough for me to wake up that early, i've become a real vampire, hating the daylight and loving the darkness of the 12am to 4am sky. Those are my happy hours.
Yknow the sad thing about having friends is treasuring them so much till the extend of knowing them so well that you think they'd stay like this forever and seeing them change would be a big preparation for you not to look forward to. Cuz it's like you can't do the things you used to do with them. I'm hoping my best friends won't change so much, i guess a slight change won't hurt, but i don't want them to fully change into another human being, to another friend that i have to adapt to yknow. I guess the only best friend of mine that will always remain the same is Jason, he's just so fully committed to friendship and that is why i treasure him. Don't get me wrong, i treasure each and every one of my best friends, just that jason is jason, he'll just stay the same, even if he gets married (which i have big doubts on that completely)
I need to occupy my time rather than just staying at home, just that i haven't found the answer yet, i've been flipping thru dozens and dozens of magazines each week and i've found nothing, no sign, no answer. I hate this really. I wanna do something i enjoy doing and am good at, which is nothing i'm sure. I really don't think im good or confident in life, i guess i need to build up my confidence, which will take forever.
I think i'm odd, whenever i'm tired, i remember even more moments i've shared and spent in life, i don't appreciate life more, just that i recall most of it when i'm tired and moody. Just all these flashbacks start coming in and it seems quite clear.
well i'm tired now, gonna leave you for dreamland...
bellleeeeekk..

white white wine...(not red mur)

Dear Mr.Blog,
I've missed you, been wanting to write to you for a few days. Anyways yesterday i was suppose to join the zouk fest tapi the tickets were all fuckin sold out! That made me so uggh frustrated, so frustrated that in the end i didn't feel like queuing thru the thick crowd and just went straight to eat dinner. After dinner, we adjourned to this plc called CLoud 9, some posh club in the highlands, it was empty at first and boring of course, but after a few rounds of drinks, we were tipsified (my own word or is it a word?) and some strangers wanted to join our table. I guess it was the first time me and my buds actually had REAl fun, the really pure fun you get when you least expect it. In addition, one of the strangers, this cambodian guy named SOk Dally opened a bottle of jD for us, filthy rich 22 year old boy. Yknow the type of guy who's the only child and lacks attention from his parents? Yeah those kinds. Well this richy rich here suddenly turned out dead drunk and just started to fall asleep, that's just a real bad knock out man and plus we had no info whatsoever about him and it was pretty tough to focus cuz we were sorta fucked as well. So anyways we managed to find some info about him, i had to like slap his face and tell him to open his eyes, and there he said it 9390, so we figured its definitely the hotel above. So we seated him on a wheelchair and pushed him to the hotel lobby and called his daddy to come down to redeem him. Oh god..that poor dude, prolly went thru a rough lecture this morning mon.

its 6:34am, early isn't it?
Atlast another early day, the 2nd early day i've encountered this year and for some reason, it feels great. Jase smsd me telling me he's goin to indo this thurs, that bloody bastard, knew he couldn't visit me, that guy is so busy that he's so full of empty promises. If i were in a deep sleep and his sms budged in, i'll kill him bad as well as his singaporean slang, its awful, yknow the extra expressions such as "lah, ahh, aiya, wahh" or whatever shit rhymes with it. Its hilarious to hear, but after a while it'll totally destroy my ear drums, actually it could destroy my appetite, no joke.
I drank white wine a few hours ago and the taste is still lasting within my tastebuds. Tantalizing it is. I miss home, rumah manis rumah, hehe...that sounds awful doesn't it? wOW..i'm so happy people like abhi actually bother to read my blog, most probably cuz they are just plain bored. I guess whatever matters in this life of mine that i spill on the blog is completely unentertaining. :D I just played basketball today and it was schweeet, haven't worked out in such a fuckn long time. Yknow i went to the gym a few days back and i could barely touch the machines mon. Well there was one where you pull ur whole body up with ur arms and normally i would be doing 10 mins of that, but i only did like 3 minutes of it. Trus here comes the treadmill, i used to do 30-45 mins, now i can't even last long pass 15!? ahh..i feel so weak and useless. I need to tone up or else yknow what they say, fats come in the way. K fuck the whole fat issue! Im chatting with reena, she's in sydney and she's still the same funny, outgoing character. I wonder how that balinese pup is doing, the one we found in the water sports place, it's so damn adorable. Damn i misssss mur, tini,n abs now, wish i could have another round of our lame jokes and sour critiques of which we throw about and at people. Today, on behalf of my mothers sms, i shall not light a single stick. Seriously, i'll quit for a few days, get the fresh air regulating throughout my lungs, need to refresh myself. Oooh my tummies grumblin....but im not hungry just yet.
yknow what? i'm good to go, i'll try to rest or perhaps not rest so i can get easy sleep tonight.

is this how we live life to the fullest?

I can't imagine living life when you hurt a person real bad. It just makes me feel so guilty inside, i already have enough guilt and it sure looks like life is adding more of it into me. I duno how to put this into words, but im just saying, why do i have to be so shallow? Why do i have to find a flaw in a person before i even get to see the real them? I guess this is what's wrong with me, i look at the surface and i don't bother going beyond that. I'm a shallow bitch, this is why its so tough living my life. Somehow i hate myself for being this part of myself, why was i born with it? I dont think my mother ever brought me up to be this inconsiderate about other people's feelings. I'm not good when it comes to empathy. Right now i'm in my bedroom, just wondering why i'm like this, i feel abnormal. I mean i look around and i see normal people with steady relationships n a love life and when i focus on myself, all i see is an empty life with no heart. Or its either a heart filled with stones. I think i might be quite heartless kan? No wait that can't be cuz i feel bad for other people but i never really put myself into their situation, just that i'm as shallow as the shore. How did i inherit such selfishness and stubbornness? yeah yeah im just like this and if im not mistaken my sisters are pretty much following my footsteps, they'll carry the heavy guilt burden in no time.
Okay i'll quit being annoying and focus more on my plans for this week- weekend, hmm...my friends and i are planning to go to this Zouk rave held in genting highlands, sounds awesome, i got my gear lights ready and everything is just cool, but yknow the bloody curse, whenever we look forward to an event or get so excited and do the advanced planning, it will end up a living disaster.
I don't know what else to say.
im off to, yeah bed.

oh that "fly"

haha..i finally paid that dumbass jase a visit! haah it's so weird being in singapore with this dude, he got black yo, like fuckn black! hahah..its hilarious. Like i couldn't spot him and suddenly i turned around and this burnt nose baldy comes darting my way and it took me a few seconds to familiarize with him or should i say it,he looks like a creature. hehe..maaf jase. The whole time i was the one annoying him, like pinching him here and there and trying to mess up his bushy eyebrows, hahahahha..theyre so hairy. Torture torture.
Jb was fun, got to see my grandpa recovering in bed, my grandma blowing her birthday candles, just the right timing i guess. I've been having loads of beer these days, iihh i feel fuckin bloated. Uni is alright, i won't say it sux, cuz it actually doesn't. Oh god, i'm not sure if i want a relationship now, i'm so confused with who and whether i should accept em. LIfe is a big ass. I've been listening to buddha bar music, so soothing and relaxing, it's perfect for meditation. I dont' meditate daily, i just do it when i'm so frustrated and it works, sort of. I'm paying attention more to my needs these days, what would make me a better person. And i admit, i am a failure in my love life and i guess the regular, but i don't want to entirely improve myself, i just want to be slightly better, which means i have to really feel what others feel in order to know how hurt they are before blaming them for their actions. I'm listening to "my immortal" now, i forced myself to isolate it for a few months and then let my ears listen again, i appreciate it more. I guess absence makes the heart grow fonder, that's why i choose to miss someone so much and then really give em a nice meaningful hug after. But i guess it would be quite tough for me, sometimes i miss people so easily i just feel like huggin em and hanging with em forever. My manhunt is coming in an hour i guess, i already know the results but theyre nice to look at so yeah. Oh fuck i have moral studies besok, yuck....it finishes at 8pm, fuck it mon, so tiring.
haha let me tell you about my wine experience yesterday, it was a major disaster. My flight was around 9ish and i got heavily tipsy before that, so yeah i was practically scrolling around the airport like a walking zombie, i was scary. I don't know what type of white wine they served, but if im not mistaken it tasted like conoisseur..i duno how to spell it, i guess its like 20 percent above, so i was doomed, fuckd actually. It was funny cuz i started cursing so much in my head, i started criticizing my uncle and stuff, of course it wasn't that bad, not obvious, i don't want to exaggerate, but writing is writing, you tend to exaggerate a liil much more cuz you can't seem to find words to make it simple, and im telling you what i went thru lastnight was not simple. Well like i said i was fucked and as well as flying on the floor, that's how it felt..but the feeling was nice. I fell asleep in the plane and as soon as i woke up, myhead was pounding bad. No one bothered to help me cuz i looked so cranky. You know what? I think i'm a weaker person now, i mean i miss those good old days when i wouldn't fall for guys that easily, now when the convos are nice and everythings running smooth, i'll just totally have the crumbles for him. I hate having instant crushes, it's so distracting. haha. I don't know what im talking about. pardon me.
I haven't read a book for a long time, i've just been sticking to national geos and readers digest, i plan to read the "living history of hillary rodham clinton" again cuz the lastime i read it, i was in a stage of adaptation, haha...meaning i was trying to adapt to uni and shit like that, so i didn't really get Hillary's whole point there.
I miss ice-cream! I'm definitely gonna treat myself to some haagen dazz again, i want baileys irish cream. I wanna go to zouk bad, not on a thurs though, probs on a friday or saturday when trans is on, trans is better for me now, i like that hyperness. Hip hop is really old school for me now, but well sometimes it's fun to dance to.
Okay well blogg, i'm leaving you for manhunt...soz man.
gnite..sweet dreams.
i pray for one of my cartoon dreams...ahhh..it's heaven. :P

It takes a hell lot of a rush for a small lot of nothing

Blog,
today was a very exhausting day for me. I was just on a constant rush here and there from sunway pyramid to cyberheights then to the putrajaya lrt station. Still no matter how much i ran, it didn't make a difference anyhow, i missed my first flight due to some technical problem going about. Iiiissh..this will make my mum think i'm irresponsible for missin the flight twice. But i made up for that by darting straight down to MAS n askin for the next flight possible, they put me on standby cuz they said their so-called flight was occupied tonight. Occupied my ass, i was seated in 25A, the window seat and no one was sitting next to me, there were 2 more vacant spots, why the hell put me on hold making me worry? ahhh sometimes malaysians just purposely want to make other malaysians suffer. It's only natural. Well i felt like i was participating in some amazing race show or sumthin. I rushed back n forth and the only person that seemed to notice me doing that is this dude that sits down and sorta binds the luggages. He was like "i wuff you" cuz i think his two front teeth were missin or he couldn't pronounce the words properly. haha. That scared me for a bit, i was like oh oke. This year has certainly been a pretty hectic one for me, i've travelled back and forth and rushed here and there just to get things right. Lastnight i got so pissed off secretly cuz my condo was a mess, it just annoyed me so bad that i ended up cleaning my whole god damn room, that type of anger makes me become all anal or something. It's still partially effecting me now, i got cleaner and neater and just more frigid. I don't wanna become charlotte from sex and the city, no fukn way, she pisses me off bad. Yum i finally had some shisha a few days back, it was alright, but that wonderful feeling just wasn't present. I don't know, that lounge just has a different feel and edge to it now, i guess cuz the previous manager isn't there anymore. Now it's raj, this manager whom i totally despise due to his unprofessional ways of managing his customers, whatever happened to the term called public relations? I don't like him, he's ruining my favorite weekend spot, favorite one! I don't know where mike.low went, so there goes mike the former manager, a great one too. Thank god mojito's there, he just serves us bloody well but we need mike the manager! :( Oh well vals day was nothin special, no parties of any sort. I received a half-dead rose and viewed a documentary from this dude in penang whom i don't know well at all, he's really sweet and all but i prefer just to be friends cuz it's better that way. I'm not into relationships now, it makes me tired and cranky. Well you never know, it's prolly just this mood i have now. OH well i just might be going to Shanghai, China. Never been there before, i'm really interested cuz i was just reading about it in the inflight magazine and it was impressing! :D Ahh..i wana go clubn there, hope they have nice buddha bars. Uni is great, i love my schedule cuz it's so empty, i only have four subjects to take this sem. 3 lan subs and one is intro to web technology, it sounds boring but its pretty cool actually, it's more of individual assessments instead of having to choose the leader of the group and divide the grades, it's confusing. You know what i like most these days? I look forward to "yamcha" sessions with my friends cuz it's better and cheaper than shopping. We just laze in a mamak stall and talk and talk and talk and the bill won't pass more than 15 bucks total. Cheap shit. I'm not up for shopn at all now, im too lazy to get new tops, new pants, new shit, yeah yeah...i need that mood to come. Hopefully it comes tomoro cuz im in my hometown now, jb, and tomoro my uncle ed and my mum have already planned in advance to go on a shopn spree, so i shall have to participate in that spree instead of couch potatoeing in the luxurious cafes. I ate the yummiest food ever! Ikan pari-pari or however you may call it, it's sting ray if im not mistaken and it taste like seafood heaven mon. Then i had this dessert called "cheng teng", just that and crushed ice, it makes my tongue go round. It's so delicious, it makes me happy. I'm serious! I'm a food lover, not a hater. Hmm...i'll be visiting the singaporean army dude this saturday, haha fuck you jase, you owe me big time, the only reason why i'm visiting this dude here is that one day he called me and sounded really pathetic and depressed over the phone, so i figured..oh to hell with this, just pay that poor pup a visit. Oh god manhunt suckd ass yesterday, my favorite contestant Maurice was eliminated only cuz he always poses the same facial expressions. Cmon he was the ultimate guy mon?! Well i still think he's fuckin hot and i like him better than john johnson by a slight bit.
Okay well i have to go now, my cousins trying to get some sleep but this laptop is annoying.
au revoir

lovies..

Dear blog,

Uggh..i feel so dirty again even after taking a nice cold shower. You just sweat after you shower I guess. Ihhh..the humid feeling. Feels awful really. Yay..tonight I will be getting heavily tipsy with donna, I made a pack to myself never to get wasted drunk cuz that’s just not worth the drinks you’ve spent for, you end up having a bad trip and bad effect in the end, but well you lose weight after barfing, so that’s just one positive thing about it. But besides that, getting tipsy is way better, you just get more flirty and have fun and the good thing is that you’re still a little sober and can still recall what happened. Oh god my mum and her endless case of “food poisoning”, she always has to be rushed to the hospital to get a check on her stomach. Sooner or later if she carries on drinking stout and eating sambal, she is bound to have appendicitis! I mean it totally burns the stomach walls, guiness+sambal totally burns, it’s just too acidic for her. Sometimes I worry about me mum, like I’m scared that one day when her resistance is low, she’ll suffer from some fatal illness. Well let’s not pray for that shall we. Actually to think of it, I have been quite rajin these days with you blog, I seem to write in you nearly everyday, or if not just a skip of 2-3 days or so. But at least I haven’t isolated you for a whole week recently. I guess you can say that I have been bored and being bored makes you pour out more things bcuz you have nothing else to do. Sometimes it’s hard to enjoy the afternoon sun, don’t you think? Cuz it’s just too hot at times and it hurts ur eyes and of course makes you sweat like a pig. But there are days when you just open up to everything, even the hot baking sun, you love the feeling of your skin getting burnt and you look around and everyone just seems so clear and so occupied with their lives. I have no idea what I’m talking about. But that happens to me, I normally go out at night time only and people walking pass by my house at night don’t look friendly, they’re monotonous. But when you see people under the bright sun, you see color and more character, know what I mean? I’m sure all of you reading this don’t comprehend my meaning. Sometimes I don’t even understand what I write or have written. Last night the remaining rumput was cool, we smoked up beside Chris’ apartment swimming pool, it was nice. Plus I had a few glasses of white wine with sasa and a can of beer, so I was sort of high, the type of high you get from eating sweet little things like chocolate n candies, yeah I call it the sugar rush. :D I’ll be leaving for sure tomorrow, which is a Tuesday. Thank god my plane flies at night, I hate having to go through the piercing sun, especially in the airport for instance. Uggh. Haha Damien is now in Sydney checking out the hot chicks and he sed cuz of that he’s as happy as a beaver. But seriously dude, are beavers really happy animals? According to my knowledge, they look terribly pathetic and look like they have nothing to do (but they are cute and confused animals) Like Gulfur from Winnie the pooh, he’s a beaver isn’t he? He ain’t happy. Anyways Crowley If you do come across this entry, please do shoot me back, I’ll be waiting for it. :D I feel like such a talkative bitch now, haha, but I am a stupid one. Yknow somehow I have a feeling that my previous basset-hound which I named Sushi is still alive, maybe it’s just a hunch, but seriously someday i’ll find her for Klaudia, she loved that dog just as much as she loved me. Hmm..that dog was a bitch, only polite to Klaudia and guys but she would just ignore me and attack klarissa. Haha it’s so funny how all our dogs seem to hold this grudge for sasa, I guess she deserves it, she’s a lil bitch herself. I know this entry doesn’t seem to make sense, I don’t really serve any point writing today but on behalf of murti I’d like to quote her famous “Boredom took the best of me” phrase. (An applause perhaps?) :P
Okay well I’m in a rush, off to buy dvds and send someone a valentines day gift, valentines day? Haha…it’s pathetic sometimes don’t you think. I’m disappointed cuz I don’t get to spend it with who I want to spend it with cuz I’m still stuck here in jkt.
Hmm…

Lovies, cheppi

you blogg you..

Dear blog,

Wow it feels like i haven't written in here for over a month mon. hmm..anyways i miss jase, he called me today and sounded really sad and pathetic, i have to visit that ass man. Kasian banget. I did quite a lot recently, well i've been playing pool and my bitchy sister actually told me i was improving after not playing for quite a long time. I just really suck at placing (i know2x) I just got back from starbux (da 24 hour one), we were crapping about all these political jokes and someone's shiny hair. hehe..i'm not gonna say who. Well i went to this boring ass chinese resto called Dragon City, somewhere around sudirman, trus adjourned to lil baghdad to schmoke some shisha. I haven't smoked up yet, hehe..the lastime i did was on wed, i got a free joint from yadi. haha it was nice, that roll, but i havent finished it yet.
In a way my life is slowly improving. I duno how to explain it. I went to bandung a few days ago and it was funny, but we spent most of the road trip in the car due to the horrific jam going about cuz its imlek, ahhh...how annoying man. wHY do people make such a big deal about chinese new year, its boring and all their houses are all colored red and decorated. I'm not saying its not nice, im just saying its sort of an exaggeration. I'm leaving jakarta this sunday, in a way i can't wait and can wait. I'm gonna miss my sisters and my mum of course. And im gonna miss clubbing with don and smokin rumput with her. This whole trip we've been tryin to go to stadium to pop, but every single time we make it there, something always goes wrong and we end up not going there. uggh..its really frustrating.
I hope uni doesn't start next week cuz i really wanna visit jase, that kid needs some motivation and some loving, so i'll just hang with him in s'pore.
What's with the whole valentines day special thangs..its gettn annoying, everywhere i go i see hearts around, i mean like all those heart shaped wind chimes around the entrances of restos...its so i duno. Vals day isn't that important to me, if i get a gift, i'd be thankful but no further than that. It's not like an official celebration or anything. i guess it just makes people feel more special about themselves ay...:I
Yay i didn't go clubbing today, was too tired, too restless. I dont' think i'll be doing alot of clubn in malaysia for quite a bit cuz i'm tired of it, yes it took me all this while to realize how it's just the same old thang ur up for everytime you hit the clubs. But it would be so fun to get drunk with ur close friends, just laugh and reminisce about everything retarded that happened in the past or will happen in the present.
well i must leave you for lalaland....
-temporary snooze-

Ahhh an early day :D

Today deyta came to pick me up at like 1pm with don and we went to ps to just look around. The usual for me would be window shopping, i only treated myself to some baileys irish cream in haagen daz..oh ya..lezat. Finally an early day to start with, normally we'd go shopping during the late rainy evenings. I haven't seen the morning sunshine for quite a while now, i'm like a vampire, hiding in my house all day and only active at night. It was so funny how we were in the car and it was all macet and shit and had nothing to do so we sort of picked on deytas driver, he had like this gross mullet hanging to his shoulders and everytime he turned his head to check on the rear view mirrors,i would get distracted by his curly ends mon! i mean seriously its fuckin distracting cuz it blocks ur view. haha....bad hair style i guess he just gets all the girls with that. the kampung girls that think he's ganteng. or mebe he thinks he look ssuper hot with that hairdo. eeekk. haha that was funny.
erm erm...i'm so lazy i feel like staying at home all day lazing and munching on home food...hehe. i might go out tonight perhaps with don, the usual thang, smoke the green green grass of home, thats all i do. I might ask for some tranqs cuz i have problem sleeping, i'm nearly an insomniac. yeha i miss nasi padang but i think my stomach is a little too weak for all the sambal at the moment, need to find the right time to eat that fat load of good fattening spicy stuff. hehe. To think of it, one of my favorite words would be "fat, ass, and mon" i say them quite often.
hmm..god i'm so not skilled at telling when a guy likes me, even if he makes his move, i'll still be so fuckin clueless and consider it as just casual flirtation.
i have to go now, go eat my ass off...:D i mean don't you just love food? it just makes you happy, its a happy drug.

love, cheppi

Dear FatassBLog,
Hehe…I always add the word “ass” to some funny word. Hmm…I was so bored the entire day, all I did was just sleep, sleep, wake up and eat, sleep….trus wake up and drove my sister to INSOMNIA to get her belly pierced. She was so fucking annoying man, she kept on insisting to go by a cab “Cheppi, please!” she screamed with ultimate desperation and i was just not listening.
Anyways I just schmoked up with Dono and the rest, well she was already really low on tranquilizers and I felt already low myself so I didn’t need any tranqs at that moment. Then we adjourned to our after-smoking-up predicted spot, WIWIED. Our tummy saviors, I just had teh tawar cuz I packed some roti kaya back home. Prolly will ditch it so my mum can feast on it the minute she wakes up in the morning. It’s so nice to smoke up when ur bored, I mean you still feel bored but then again..you do more things when ur a lil stoned than when ur just plain bored. I miss everyone when I’m high. Im typing right outside my house where there is this big ass rat I saw a few hours ago and m trying not to spot. My mother woke up and I hope she didn’t read the note I left on top of the kaya toast. Fuck. Oh well…I was suppose to watch outback jack, but ended up going to subud instead. Yay we’re finally going to hotel borobudur this Saturday, yippee! I can finally work out my weak muscles and go play some squash, tennis, and of course swim laps. I love that hotel, it’s my favorite hotel around, it just has everything. Wow basketball, haven’t played it in like 2 years, I mean a real game. That is what I call a solid work out!
I’m goin off now, need the sleep, might play pool besok. :D
-cheppi off-

great time

Bloggie,

Anyways, um..i had a great time today, with my mother. I went to watch Meet the Fockers in ex and it was so freakin funny. I guess that was like the first movie I’ve watched with my mum in like 10 years or so. Long time ay? Normally it’s with my mum and sisters. But today we had an alone time and I tried talking to her about how much sasa wants a belly piercing, oh god the square-minded, hard to persuade em to say “Yes” which is why I couldn’t stand it last time and went straight on and pierced it. Anyways we finally went to the grand Hyatt lounge, the last time I went there was like 3 years back, it’s so awesome, the view from the top is beautiful. I guess that is why it’s so hard to leave this country, it’s just so enjoyable. Yay! I finally bought myself some nice lingerie from PRESENCE, wuhoo! It’s one of those nice lacy black ones, ooh lace..haha…I used to hate lace so much, but now…I think it’s quite sexy actually. Oh god you know who has nice eyes? Robbie Williams! It’s so nice and green….uggh..but overall he’s not that good lookn, just his eyes. I’m meeting Damien this Tuesday before he goes off to Sydney. Just feel like hanging out with him for some reason. hmm...i'm in a happy mood! happy happy happy! wow..haven't been this happy for a fuckin long time.
anyways, ima bounce now,
cu

At this moment...

At this moment i feel completely lost and empty inside, as well as desperate for someone to care for me. My xbf just called but i rejected the call cuz i duno just not in the mood to talk to him, it's tiring. Why is it that whenever i ned that one person the most, they are always unavailable? And when they are right by my side, that's when i dont' need them and stash em away. I';m so angry at myself, i feel so pathetic, like living in this life is so meaningless for me. I need to get all this shitty load off my shoulders and just feel care free...wipeee! I want to paint my life red, i wanna be a happy and healthy person, i guess i just need some guidance from someone i trust. Damn..mur and abs are in oz, that is so sad. So sad for me to go back to jakarta knowing that my two good friends are gone for good. But they give me the motivation to visit them. So i don't wanna be all sad. hehe. Mur if ur with me, i miss you shit loads, like you have no idea mon...what is bernie without its ernie? :D And ABU, i miss you damn mucho too, u've been such a great ass friend and i appreciate it, i had time torturing you, annoying you cuz that is what cheppi's do best, annoy and tease ppl, make em suffer! Sometimes i seem to give the impression that i lead a normal and happy life, but deep down inside, i'm so tired and rather unstable. I seem to be locked up in a room, just that i need to find the right keys to get me out from this mess. Actually, i don't even know waht's bothering me. It's just a stir of emotions rolling in my head that drives me insane. Yeah well mur, that guy i told you about, he's so annoying, it's like i keep thinking about him, can't help it really. No i don't LOVE him, just plain like. Well anyways, i'm going off, gotta check in!

Do you know where im at?

At this moment of time, i am lost. I'm in penang now, i have the crab by my side, but when i return to jkt, i'll be lost. it's 6 ish right now in malaysia but it looks as if you just woke up on a bright bright sunshiney afternoon, different from jkt, at this hour, jakarta will be dark n gloomy. I don't have any of my best friends there anymore and that is freakin sad. I haven't done much the past few days, but spending time with my penang friends really made me feel much better. I might be going to CHILL OUT tonight to CHILL OUT, but the usual, there's transportation problemos thanks to the bad timing and shit like that. So i've just been crashing at kelly's plc reading national geo's and readers digest after having a big ass laughing session of American Idol, retarded! Man i mwish everybody, even people i see around college (altho i dunt even know their names). But i just need to focus on something rather than just have a holiday of doing nothing. Well ima call it quits now, gotta take a shower.
It's a sunny day, but why doesn't the sun shine down on me? I need the SUn bad.
Byee..

Days are days..

Well we just hung out at Chris' aptment by the poolside and shit we were stoned on yummeee weed which of course after received the munchies for Mr.wiwid and his famous roti bakars and bubur komplit, Awesome!
But we just ate sweet stuff, that about it yo. hmm...it was so funny in the car cuz murti kept on laughing her freakin ass off and donna was just so budek all of a sudden, hearing mouth as "mum" and well thats hard to explain! haha..and i thought i was driving fast, but when i shook my head, i realized i was driving so fuckin slow, not even 40 km per hour, fuck..haha that was hilarious.
Murs sleeping now. Damn to think about it, she's leaving so soon, i'm leaving real soon cuz ihave to, but damn...ill be coming back here and when i do, murti wont' be here. I"ll have abs and dons, then abhi will be gone, holy fuck. I'll be sad. Or mebe abs will be gone by hten. I'm leaving this thursday, that is in like a day plus! Damn boay! I'm going to Penang..weeeee...haha i can't wait to see them n i bought joyce some pretty gurly thangs, something she'll like, i hope at least. hehe :D
Hmm,,im terribly yearning for the adidas shell shocks man, i want em bad. Ill get em from sungai wang plaza or wherever where it's cheap and good bahan. But if it ain't original, fuck it,i'll just spend my money for the expensivo ones. I
want it bwad!
Alright, peace out mofockers..

Hailai Oi!

haha....
Abhi! I read ur blog you fat idiot, you manwhore, you bitch, you nipple biter, you fuckin arse wipe, and all thsoe bloody curse shit i crap about at you! haha...
Hey you gotttaaaa really admit that hailai was fun as hell man, i mean that plc does look like hell, the dance floor kicks all the clubs ass, the lights are just so visually perfect to the eyes of the E suckers and the crowd is just fugly (yeah i know) full of all those horrible old wrinkly chinese rich men booking all those indo prossies for one whole night of fuckin, i feel like tea bagging them, yeah abs lets go tea bag em, they deserve the art of tea bagging, let's show em! hehe...
Anyways hte only reason why i sang the stupidest songs was becuz i wanted to annoy you, like duh what else, from britney to chinese songs i barely even recognize, from the old boy band days to the kinky video of who again? the one with the girl massaging his breasts, that is just so pathetically stupid...and tacky and once again of course, KINKY mon..Kinky! But i had fun annoying you to the bone, squeezing out the laughter out of ur old boring face, haha JOshin you dude. Anyways..i had fun seriously. i did cuz i got to sing like an idiot and boy you weren' thte only person that heard me saying "you sexy dance, you sexy dance" a repeated number of times, the operators heard it man, now look im aware that this is the downfall of my reputation, but who cares right? Damn i wasn't even drunk too, imust be one brave chick ay? yeah abhi, praise me, beg me for my grand karaoke performances once again cuz you fuckin deserve it. Imagine if mur was there, she' db elike "what hte fuck?!" haha...oh god im running out of breath here. whoo...
anyways abs where are you man, been trying to buzz you lately, tapi u just never freakin balas, you better balas or else i'll teabag you my little babyfucker. haha: BAFO! So bafo, this is our master plan, actually Ernie's master plan, Ernie suggested we smoke up dulu trus crash in her crib and nonton the WHITE CHICKS n just laugh to the whole fuckin thang when we're all high and shit...das cool right? you have got to aggreeeee, you have got to show up later okay, if not i swear you will experience the art of tea bagging, trust me on that. :P
Okay anyways, i'm off for now, haven't been doing anything lately, just stayed at home and rested and drinking my Es teh tawar, shhhhh abs don't say "ew, es teh tawar!" Or else i'll order you some roti pisang, you can't get enough of those 2 words, the moment i sed it you went cwazeeee..
aites, i'm off
POOOF goes the magical bel! *****

Birthdays over..:-I

Anyways, i woke up pretty late on the 14th. Haha...what a good way to spend your birthday ay? Not that my birthday's really important to me, friends are far more important. I don't know but when it's my birthday, i don't care about myself, the only think i care about is which friends are loyal to me. It's always the unexpected that end up surprising you with birthday greetings. Well to tell the truth, i didn' t really have fun, everything messed up! Just everything man, i was looking forward to my pill and suddenly what do i know, entrance fee increases and people just don't wanna go in no more. So yeah i didn't pop lastnight, it was ruined. I wanted to get wild and crazy, get unconscious but noooo...i just ended up grumpy and sober. That is the worst. I wanted to at least get wasted, but i didn't. Well i went to starbux with my sister and that guy actually remembered it was my birthday and gave me a free drink, how nice really. That cheered me up from the awful night i had. I don't know why i was so depressed, i guess cuz i didn't end up goin to Stadium, haha but not really there's more to that. Yay i'm 18, haha everythings legal now. Drugs, drinks, cigs, everything. wuhoo! But not really though, cuz in KL you have to be like either 19-21, ur lucky if they don't check ur ID. hmm...i'm still not tired man, not at all. Damn looks like i'm not leaving this sunday, my dad doesn't want me to. Fuck him mon. Oh well, it's only postponed to a few more days, no biggie. Aight, i have to go now, gotta write some pretty leetterssss...:D hey i'm trying to cheer myself up k.
TooDlooo...

My birthday countdown.

It wasn't a really special countdown, not like a new years eve event or something, but it was really cute. Anyways, we went to lil baghdad for some shishas and the funny thang is donna still had some left over weed from the cigs, so she just poured some over the top where the charcoal burns, damn it was quite effective, we got pretty high.
Anyways my cake was such a major disaster, Pandor made it, but it lumered all over and got all soft. Not nice. I can't wait for Stadium tomoro man! I just wanna get hyper and hook up cuz i haven't done that in a long time. And by the way they are not OLD guys! They are all below 30 god dammit!
But i've been really tired today man, everyone in the party was all lemas and stuff. FUck i'm 18! Everything's legal! Yay?! But the bad thing is that i have to be more serious about uni, i haven't really been doing my best, haven't given my full motivation and effort. I'm just plain lazy. Besides its my 2nd year, this is when things get serious and the year where you really have to select your own career path and opportunities. I feel so irresponsible and not proud of what i've done the last few years, i need to grow up, cut down on all the drinking, clubbing, yah just all the bad vices that mean temptation to me. I have to stop! haha..nah i won't just quit like that, it takes a while to decrease such habits. Hmm...wow..i'm the only one awake in my house, my sisters have collapsed in bed, my mother collapsed as soon as the party started, and all my friends have left the building. :P So i'll just go out for some menthol lights to just let my mind flow around and ponder. I need some thinking time, thinkin space. Yes yes. This is where i have to leave you and oh well i pray for a good day ahead of me! :D
toodles, BELLY

Just got back from hippity hop

Dear Bloggie,
hehe..i just dropped don at chris' plc. Jo, Don, and I suddenly had the munchies from weed and urgently rushed to INDO GAYA rasa for some real food, yknow nasi goreng ayam special, great stuff. it was a fun night, i was fuckin stoned and jo's eyes were all funny and cute, dono kept on wanting to dance on the loudassmofospeakers, so when a song i liked shot up, i went up thinkin she would temenin me, but hse's like "nah..you dance alone, haha" i was like oh the hell, oh well..so what and just danced. Mekasih don. :D
Song like turn me on, no lettin go, everyone falls in love sometimes are all the IN songs now to spin in clubs. I'm kinda sick of it tho, been listening to no letting go every freakin day for at least more than a dozen times. nah i exaggerated that bit, at least 7 times (due to sasa, that freak!)
Oh well i'm having a cute little dinner parte besok, on the 13th, i mean tonight, yeah i know..haha don was so cute, she was like "Oh yeah we can have a countdown on da 13th!" and i was like "heh? i ddin't think about that dude." Ohwell life is short, enjoy it to the fullest.
Yknow what damien said to me? He sed i do everything really fast, meaning i start too fast in life. Like coll, clubbn, that typa shit, and he sed who knows i might even die fast. Lets hope not ay? Although sometimes i feel like dying, but seriously i'm enjoying part of my life and i at least want to be more of a successful person than i am now. Oh poor sisters of mine, they are both awake for the first day of the 2nd semester of skoo..haha kasianmon. Damn i can't wait to go to 'stadium', haha don is more impatient than i am, trust me. I'll get my ferrari pill there and i'm all set to trance mode. :P Fuck i still haven't eaten nasi padang! Yeah yeah i know all i think about is FOOD, indonesian food is the best, now now i'm not saying its the best cuz i grew up here, i'm saying its hte best cuz i've tried all and now i can make my conclusion. So in conclusion, indo food is the best, its spicy and yummy!
Alright, i'm gonna bail, gonna go shopping with my nyokap nanti. CYouss..